There I Go, Turn the Page

Worth A Re-Post - A Dancing Soul

2012-01-24T08:52:00.001-06:00

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn ~

I've come here often since Sept. 24 - only to stare blankly and wash my face with tears. I miss you terribly, want to talk to you and laugh with you and sew with you and eat lunch with you while you talk on your cell phone. I want to watch people's faces when they see us drive up on scooters at Momma G's. I want to sit with you in the back of the quilt guild meeting and pass notes. I want to watch you and Tom make killer margaritas. I want to watch you achieve your biking goals all over again. I want to hug beautiful quilts with you. Most of all, Cindy, I want to hug you and tell you - Thank you for being my friend for eleven fun years

Happy 49th Birthday, on Jan. 24, 2012.

MY HEAD HURTS, Redux

2011-09-14T13:36:00.002-05:00

This is a repeat post from May, 2008. I had (am still having) one of these crazy migraines starting around noon yesterday. I was trying to explain it to a colleague, this is easier.

I'm not kidding - it realio and trulio HURTS! I had another full blown migraine with aura today. I'm just now able to look into the computer screen and it started around noon. I won't look at this screen for long.

The last time after I had one, I collected these images to write about them. The following image describes it well. It starts in my eye like a black spot or wavy spot - like heat waves. Then it starts to spread like a backwards jagged bright C. It gets larger and larger until it completely blocks my field of vision. This is usually in my right eye and my right arm goes to sleep with the needle prick feeling. It lasts about 20 minutes. I know that I have those 20 minutes (which I can't see through it to walk or drive) plus 15 more before I get a brain crushing headache that is totally and completely debilitating.

This image shows the color of it better. It is like a bright light. Twice it has been very colorful like a rainbow.

My headaches can last from a few hours to three days. I never know. I must get to a quiet dark place. There are some days when this is impossible. Like TODAY!

If I take Imetrex (which I ALWAYS have with me) during the first onset of aura, I can cut the time drastically. After four hours, I take two Excedrin every six hours until it's gone.

I mostly know what my triggers are, but I don't have a clue what caused it today. Red wine, peanuts or peanut butter, too much chocolate will usually do it. I have NO IDEA what triggered this one - and I haven't had one in MONTHS~

I'm not writing this to get sympathy, but to explain how they look and feel. I know a lot of people with much worse illnesses or that get these more frequently than I do, so don't waste your sympathy on me. I'm thankful that I don't get them very often, maybe once every quarter or 90 days.

Another point that's new, my fifteen-year-old son inherited these from me. It makes me sad, I wouldn't wish these on anyone especially a young man trying so hard to be normal in the first place. I didn't have them as a child. His neurologist says that ours may be hormone triggered - mine shortly after my last child, his - at the onset of puberty. I hate this for him. He gets them much more often than I.

Here some really cool Migraine Art - Isn't it interesting how pain, sorrow and other strong feelings bring out the beauty in artists and musicians?

Migraine Art - The New York Times > Opinion > Slide Show > Slide 9 of 11

Stickin' like Velcro

2010-08-25T09:23:00.009-05:00

Remember when our children were learning how to tie their shoes and we were all tempted to keep them in the Velcro ties because it was easy? Velcro is the easy way out, teaching them to do it themselves is hard work.

My friend who is an advisor for the honors college at Auburn posted an article on his Facebook that I shared. The NYT article is titled "Students, Welcome to College; Parents Go Home."

Not only did it get a lot of response on Facebook, but it also struck a cord with me. I've been struggling with the thoughts of Trey going to college next year, and how that will change the dynamics of our home. I know that we are going to miss him like crazy. I've got a great big 'ole lump in my throat while I am writing this. He is the noisiest, messiest, most time consuming, generous and loving member of our family. He will leave a big hole that will hurt.

I know that even though we are hurting, we will let him fly and that he will fly high with a suitcase full of life experiences that will help him succeed.

"Velcro Parents" (formerly known as Helicopter Parents), are the most influential factor in our life over the last ten years in regard to how we raise our boys.

After seeing the direct effects of such sticky parents on the immature and insecure students that walk the halls at Auburn University, usually with parents still attached, we know that it is not only the right thing to do, but it is also irresponsible for us to leave our children without the skills they need to succeed. The only way they learn those skills is by doing things for themselves.

I'm glad we make Trey and Foster responsible for their own actions, and responsible for their own work. We are here if they make mistakes, but only to guide them through with instructions on how to do things for themselves. The consequences for their actions belong to them.

I hope that responsibility sticks like Velcro.

Another Neglected Blog?

2010-06-07T19:38:00.002-05:00

I HOPE NOT.

Come join in the fun this summer and follow us @ 60 Mallard Trail in Jackson's Gap at Lake Martin.

My New Blog

Ronda's Final Post

2010-01-29T08:54:00.001-06:00

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jan 26

It is with heavy heart I write one last time. Mark passed this morning. His suffering has ended and he is no longer in pain. He went to be with our Lord and Saviour. He was surrounded by family and he went in peace. Thanks to all of you who followed Mark's battle. He was one tough warrior and fought hard to the end. We got to say our goodbyes this morning. Hospice came out. Julia was here with the hospice chaplain and they were great. Father Bill came over and prayed with us and spent quite a bit of time here.

After Mark was gone from the house, I went into the bedroom to shower and it really hit me that he was gone. The bed was made and he wasn't in it. It was just not right seeing the bed without Mark there. He's really gone.

The funeral will be at St. Michaels Catholic Church at their NEW location on North College St. It will be Friday morning at 10am. We will be having visitation at Jeffcoat Trant funeral home on Thursday night from 6-8pm. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the Mark Bertus Scholarship Fund at any Auburn Bank location or mail to PO Drawer 3110 Auburn, AL 36831-3110.

If anyone is coming from out of town, the Holiday Inn Express will offer a special rate if you give them Mark's name. The address is 1801 Capp Landing Opelika, AL 36804. Ph (334) 749-5250.

I will post if anything changes or as we know more. Thanks to all of you who have supported us through this battle. Hold tight to those you love today and always. Please continue to pray for those battling cancer. May God bless and keep you all!!!!!

Ronda

For Mark

2009-11-30T18:08:00.011-06:00

From my sweet friend's Facebook page: She is so brave, and I can feel her pain through her words.

Ronda Unruh Bertus "Mark has stopped treatments for his cancer. It's just not working. He is now on Hospice, but staying home and having the hospice nurses come here. We are trying to keep his pain controlled and make him comfortable. He told me last night he wanted to start saying his goodbyes to the kids. I really hate cancer. It is killing me."

O merciful Father, who hast taught us in thy holy Word that thou dost not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men: Look with pity upon the sorrows of thy servant for whom our prayers are offered. Remember her and her family, O Lord, in mercy, nourish her soul with patience, comfort her with a sense of thy goodness, lift up thy countenance upon her and her family, and give them peace; through Jesus Chr ist our Lord. Amen. BCP, p. 831.

Mark J. Bertus

Almighty God, look on this your servant, lying in great
weakness, and comfort him with the promise of life
everlasting, given in the resurrection of your Son Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen. BCP, p. 462.

Buckle your seat belts

2009-10-30T09:41:00.007-05:00

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

Every day is something new with two boys who are full of life and think they are invisible. I can't understand their tendency to risk life, limb, and reputation for no good reason.

All we can do is love them unconditionally, but set strict consistent boundaries regarding behavior - make sure those boundaries are consistently enforced. Communicate with them often not only about right/wrong and boundaries, but also about good character and decency. Have dinner together and find out what is going on in their lives. Show an interest in them and their lives (not just show - be interested). Teach them the social skills to carry on a balanced conversation. Encourage them to ask and care about other people.

With all of these plans - there are wrecks now and again. We pick up the pieces, go through a healing process and begin again. A wreck is an opportunity to start fresh and get back on the right road.

God our Father, you see your children growing up in an
unsteady and confusing world: Show them that your ways
give more life than the ways of the world, and that following
you is better than chasing after selfish goals. Help them to
take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance
for a new start. Give them strength to hold their faith in you,
and to keep alive their joy in your creation; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.

You Might Be a Racist If. . . . .

2009-10-16T11:51:00.001-05:00

Shameless lifted from my friend and blogger "Birmingham Blues"

You Might Be a Racist If…

…you’re a justice of the peace who refuses to issue marriage licenses to interracial couples.

Keith Bardwell, who has been a justice of the peace for 34 years in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, says he always asks couples who call to inquire about marriage if they are interracial, and if the answer is yes, his answer is no. Louisiana law, of course, makes no mention of race. It requires only that the parties present their birth certificates, Social Security cards, and $35 (and proof of divorce if either was previously married).

Bardwell, bless his heart, invokes the “black friends” defense:

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

And he further defends himself by pointing out that he treats all interracial couples the same:

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.

So he doesn’t discriminate in his discrimination. Or something. And, hey, it’s not like he keeps those couples from marrying. They just have to go elsewhere. It’s just like pharmacists who use “conscience” clauses to refuse to dispense legally prescribed medications. No harm, no foul, right? He only wants to protect The Children^tm.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

Seriously, did I just stumble through a temporal rift? I thought this was 2009, not 1959. Mr. Bardwell, I believe it’s time to retire. You can spend your golden years going to Klan meetings and pining for the good old days of racial purity.

Time Warp

2009-09-23T21:22:00.001-05:00

In many ways it seems like yesterday, but at others it seems like a lifetime ago. On September 24, 2008 my close friend Cindy Wall died suddenly. I remember the shock and pain I felt as I learned of her death. The pain feels like it happened a few minutes ago. But on the other hand, I feel like I have not seen or talked to her in years. Time has little meaning.

When my Daddy died a few years ago, I didn't think I would ever get over it. Hospice sent me a pamphlet on the one year anniversary of his death. I pulled it out yesterday. It helped me when he died and it helps me now.

Even though grief does not end with the first anniversary, hopefully you can say that you have learned many lessons this past year.

PERHAPS you have learned to receive and accept the love and support of those around you.

PERHAPS you have learned that your tears and memories are healing.

PERHAPS you have learned that although your life is changed, there is still a joy in living.

PERHAPS you have learned that the memories which hurt so much can become a healing bridge from the past to the future.

PERHAPS you have learned that the pain of loss is diminishing and the purpose and meaning in your life is growing stronger.

PERHAPS you have learned to treasure each day and to show love to others.

PERHAPS you have learned to never, never take for granted the gift of life.

The first anniversary is an important milestone. Look backward at your progress -- Look at today and congratulate yourself for the major achievement of coming this far -- Look ahead to the opportunities that are yet to come.

Thank you Daddy and Cindy for teaching me these lessons. Thank you Hospice for helping me realize what I've learned.

God's Peace+

The Lake Cabin Post

2009-08-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

K.. . . . Very first, I HAVE to give a great big SHOUT OUT to

John Coley @ Coley Real Estate

John hung in there with us all summer. . .even gave us advice on FSBO's that we found. He is such a laid back, fun kind of guy who knows Lake Martin like the back of his hand because he grew up there. He is only satisfied when everyone involved in the transaction is satisfied. Y'all know me well enough to know. . .I don't endorse folks unless I mean it. . .an I MEAN IT.

Speaking of "For Sale By Owner" (FSBO) property on Lake Martin. . . Our Three Friends - AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! who said to us this week. . .

"You should have told us!! We are trying to sell our place!!!" . .. . I have two words for you!:

JOHN COLEY!

HELLO!!. . . who, please tell me, who! has the time to ride around all the miles of Lake Martin to find FSBO property. . . NOT US. . . .and I'll not even mention that we know you pretty well. . have seen you several times this summer. . . ..AND didn't KNOW about your property. . . .well, DUH!!

And a very close second . . . I have to mention Melanie Poe our mortgage officer at Aliant Bank . She spent a lot of time with us all summer and was friendly, professional and knew her stuff when it came to lake martin property.

I hope we can stay in touch with these two folks - fun and professional people.

NOW. . .for the SUMMER OF 2009 SAGA. . . .

We've looked at lots of property. . . .put in three failed offers. . . only to spend 30 days negotiating this final one. I know Lake Martin Property pretty well myself these days. . .I know all the "neighborhoods" and am very excited to learn more.

My original outline for this blog was to give it to you play by play all summer. . . .then decided that I'd rather NOT live through it again. . .and that you don't really want to live through it again either.

We ended up with an amazing piece of property. . . we've gone there almost EVERY DAY since we closed . . . it needs lots of TLC and a few major repairs - it's been closed up for two years and only visited a few times in five.

Tom's been there Fri., Sat., Sun. and tomorrow . . . .I'M LOVIN' this. . . he needs time OFF THE GRID. . . Mr. Work 70 hours minimum per week Guy. . . .Or should I say Dr. Work Guy! I love to see him excited about all his new projects and thinking of ideas for us as a family.

Here are a few photographs. . . .as soon as we have it up to speed, I'll post more photos and . . .we'll have all of you over!

Mallard Point, Jackson's Gap, Alabama. . . .Lake Martin Cabin.

Back to the '80s

We can't wait to spend more time relaxing there.

The Last Supper

2009-08-18T19:35:00.000-05:00

By request, the last dinner at home together for Summer 2009 was - Individual Chicken Pot Pies~

Dinner at the Denneys

2009-07-18T09:09:00.000-05:00

This week I posted a poll on Facebook: How often do you cook and do you plan ahead?

It got a lot of hits and a large variety of responses. I haven't conscientiously thought about this in a long while, but it's worth a studied re-visit.

When Tom and I married - 21 years ago - I did not cook ANYTHING. I had a few easy things up my sleeve, but not much. My mother-in-law however was the domestic queen complete with a home economics degree from Auburn. (She jokingly called it her M.R.S. degree) Most of Tom's life he sat down to a meat, two vegetables, salad, bread and a dessert = usually all from scratch. She was not only a natural, but also very precise about how she prepared the food and the atmosphere.

Not only did she love the art of preparing a good meal, but she also savored the ritual of a family meal. She shared with us why she felt this way when Trey was born. She told us that it creates "family." She felt that family was a way of life, not a group of people.

Seems like we've always sat down to dinner for most of our 21 years. I'm not saying we do it every single night - it's just not possible. We all four have very busy schedules. But when we don't - we ALL miss it. Especially our little renegade - He thrives at the dinner table. Everyone gets their moment to shine and we genuinely enjoy each others company. After all, everyone except me does not know any differently. It's just the way it is.

Like Mrs. Denney told us - you learn so much about your children by sitting down and eating with them. Since Tom and I are faced with raising Tom and Jeff Clones! - it's a wonderful thing.

We love you Grandmama - and miss you every day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll have to make cooking, planning ahead and getting everyone to the table into another blog. It should be fun - especially since I have so many friends with lots of tips to share~ Cheri in Washington State shares my love of power cooking. Harrow, my baby sistah down the street, is a master of bulk purchases. AND. . .I've discovered a new menu item that I can make SIX meals out of for $4! That's 67 cents per meal or 16 cents per plate! and EVERYBODY loves it. STAY TUNED.

Blueberry Pie

2009-07-18T08:31:00.000-05:00

I've made several of these this year to take to the lake. The recipe is worth sharing. People rave and can't figure out what that special touch is - I think its the combo of ingredients and not just one.

BLUEBERRY PIE

Basic Pie Crust for 9-inch two-crust Pie/Pillsbury does fine if out of time

4 cups fresh blueberries

3 Tablespoons all purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom

Juice and zest of one lemon

1 tablespoon good quality dark rum

1 tablespoon butter

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Line the pie pan with half the pastry dough. Mix the flour, sugar, salt, and spices in large bowl. Add blueberries, lemon juice, zest and rum and gently toss well. Pile the mixture into the lined pie pan and dot with butter. Roll out the top crust and drape it over the pie. Crimp or flute the edges and cut several vents in the top. Bake for 10 minutes, then lower the temp to 350 degrees and bake for 30-40 mins or until top is browned.

My tips~

I love using my Pampered Chef Deep Dish Pie Plate to bake this pie but I use a regular sized 9 inch pie crust. As you can tell from the photographs, it fits nicely and deep into the dish, the stoneware keeps the bottom crust crisp, and it helps with boil overs.

I use my small star cutter to make a festive Americana pie for the month of July. Otherwise, regular vents are beautiful, too.

This is a sweet pie. I cut 1/4 cup sugar and it's still sweet. If you like a more tart pie - you may want to cut back on the sugar. I haven't done that yet.

I have eliminated the butter - BAD IDEA. It is essential to bind the flour and blueberry juices for thickness. It was a runny mess.

Plug Your Ears

2009-06-19T13:17:00.000-05:00

Is it OK to brag about your children? I do not want to become one of those mothers who can't shut up about her "perfect, brilliant, talented, wonderful, handsome children." That kind of stuff wears very thin very fast! and eventually no one will listen or ask me about them.

I think bragging about your children is OK when you preface it with something funny or lite like, "plug your ears if you don't want to hear me brag about the boys," or "indulge me please."

I don't think it is bragging when you tell your close friends and family. Writing a blog about your children is a normal thing, especially you're a parent of teens and they are the only thing that seems to be happening in you life!! However, bragging on a blog should be rare~

Plug your ears and indulge me, please!

You've all read many blogs about my feisty, energetic, and adventurous youngest son - Foster. He always has something going on and it is not usually something to write about~

I am proud to tell you that Foster was the GATORADE PLAYER OF THE WEEK! at the Mike Getman Soccer Camp at the University of Alabama Birmingham for his group. He received the award for his hard work and attitude.

I'm so proud of you Foster! Hard work and a good attitude will get you many things in life.

And I think you could balance that ball on your foot FOREVER if anyone would sit and watch that long. . . .a few minutes was more than I could take. . . .bunches of love, Mom.

Melissa's Mediterranean Pasta

2009-05-31T12:45:00.000-05:00

My husband loves this recipe and requests it all the time. I made it up one night using odds and ends in the kitchen about ten years ago.
5 Tbs. of your best Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 Tbs. Salted Butter
½ Medium White Onion – evenly chopped
3 cloves Garlic – evenly and finely chopped
1 lb. Dried Penne Pasta
Salt
Salt and Pepper to taste
3 oz. Extra Moist Sun Dried Tomatoes – Julienne Cut
1 cup halved Spanish Olives stuffed with Pimento
3 oz. Pine Nuts
2 – 14oz cans quartered Artichoke Hearts - drained
1 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
Large handful of fresh basil leaves - chopped
½ cup Shredded Asiago Cheese

The sun dried tomatoes should be the moist and chewy kind that do not require re-hydrating.

In a heavy large skillet bring olive oil and butter to a medium high temperature just before smoking. Add chopped white onion and reduce heat to medium. Cook until lightly caramelized – about 20 mins., stirring and tossing so that they cook evenly. Remove from heat. Let cool 5 mins. – add chopped garlic and stir. Set aside.

I like to use white onions because they have lower water content than yellow and maintain better flavor than red when sauteed. If you overcook the onion it becomes bitter. The garlic should be just slightly heated.

Heat another heavy dry skillet until hot, add Pine Nuts to toast. Toss continuously until slightly golden. Do not leave them, they will burn. Remove from skillet just before they are golden - they brown very fast. Put them on a plate to cool.

Bring large pot of water to a boil, add salt, then add Penne and cook 6 – 8 mins. or until as Al-Dente as you like it.

Strain pasta and add to a very large mixing bowl. Pour caramelized onion and garlic with oil over the hot pasta. Salt and Pepper to taste. Stir to coat pasta.

Add sun dried tomatoes, olives, ½ of the pine nuts, artichoke hearts, Parmesan cheese, and ½ the fresh basil leaves. Stir lightly to mix well.

Transfer to serving bowl, add remaining chopped basil, asiago cheese, and pine nuts on top. Garnish with fresh basil top.
We ate this alfresco last night with bakery whole grain bread, very casually. Tom drank a hearty red Zinfandel, I had my usual Denney house Pinot Gris, and Trey had pomegranate juice. We listened to John Prine. Life doesn't get much better.

Enjoy.

AND . . . . .she cooks again!

2009-05-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

The Dinner Party~

A friend visited from St. Paul, MN recently. We had a dinner party at our house to welcome him back to Auburn - he and his family lived down the street from us for years and we are best of friends. We had a "Family - Trio" . . .three families that worked, studied, played, worshiped and lived in the neighborhood together. We miss that third leg of the stool a lot. We welcomed him with wide open arms and much love.

I was lucky enough to host the party - and made most of the food myself, from scratch.

My Internet friend from Seattle (I've met his wife and many friends - and I feel like I've met him as well) asked a few months back that all of his friends who cook to post their "from scratch" recipes with pictures. I'm posting the recipes from this party, For Darren~

When I make something from scratch, I have a routine: I Google the dish and I read lots of recipes from foodnetwork.com, cooks.com, allrecipes.com, recipesource.com, epicurous.com, cooking.com and any other source that comes up in Google. Then I take the highest rated recipes and blend them to take the best elements from each and "create" my own "from scratch" recipe. If it turns out well, I make a recipe card and keep it~ This night - everything was a keeper!

We started the night with a White Wine Sangria, Salsa, Chips and Corona with Limes.

White Wine Sangria
1 Navel Oranges
1 Lime
3 Cups Orange Juice
1/4 cup Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice
1 Bottle White Wine (as sweet or dry as you like it - but don't skimp)
1 16 oz bottle of Sprite

Slice the Orange in healthy 3/4 in. slices, then quarter the slices, reserve ends
Slice the Lime in 1/2 in. slices, then quarter the slices.
Place all slices in pitcher and squeeze juice from end pieces over slices.
Add remaining ingredients except Sprite and refrigerate.
When ready to serve, add Sprite.

Replace wine with Orange Juice and Sprite to your liking - to serve non-alcoholic version. I tied kitchen twine on the pitcher that had wine in it.

Salsa
1/2 cup each, finely chopped:
White Onion
Red Bell Pepper
Green Bell Pepper
Yellow Bell Pepper
Plum Tomatoes, and
1 Small Jalapeno

15 oz can Yellow Corn -drained
15 oz can Black Beans - drained and rinsed
3 Tbs. Taco Sauce

Mix well and refrigerate.
Add chopped fresh cilantro just before serving.

I slightly heated the chips in a pre-heated 350 degree oven to give them a "homemade" feel and taste.

Mexican Lasagna
serves 12

THE SAUCE:
1 1/2 pound of ground chuck
1/4 pound of Chorizo (Mexican Sausage) made into 1/8 inch balls
28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
28 oz can of tomato sauce
6 oz can of tomato paste
1/2 cup of water
2 packages of McCormick Taco seasoning
1 Tbs. ground cumin

THE CHEESE MIXTURE:
8 oz. pkg. Ricotta Cheese
12 oz. pkg. Sour Cream
1/2 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
1 Egg
2 Tbs. chopped Cilantro
Fresh Ground Pepper

Slices of Mozzarella Cheese
Grated Asiago Cheese
More chopped Cilantro

10 - 12 Burrito size Flour Tortillas cut into 1 inch strips

Brown the ground chuck in a large cast iron pot. Cook the Chorizo meat balls in a separate skillet until done - approximately 8 mins. Add all remaining meat sauce ingredients and meat balls to ground chuck in cast iron pot. Simmer for 20 mins. Cool.

In separate bowl, mix all cheese mixture ingredients well.

Spray large 9 X 13 or larger baking dish with non-stick spray

Layer as follows:

1/8 meat sauce
Flour Tortilla strips to cover
1/2 cheese sauce
Mozzarella Slices to cover
1/2 remaining meat sauce
Flour Tortillas strips to cover
remaining cheese sauce
Mozzarella slices to cover
Remaining meat sauce

Cover with foil and refrigerate two hours, but no more than 24 hours.

Bring to room temp.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 mins, remove foil and continue baking for 15 mins. Remove from oven and sprinkle with grated Asiago cheese. Let set for 15 mins. Garnish with chopped cilantro.

Salad was simple - pre-packaged spring mix, sliced red onion, Mandarin oranges, roasted pecans and almonds and prepared corn bread croutons - choice of Italian, ranch, or balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

I did not take any pictures of the main course, salad, having dinner or the after laughs -- now I wish I had. I always get the feeling that it's staged when we take pictures and the evening loses its intimacy. The longer I blog and am on facebook - the more this changes. I like having the pictures and I like living in the moment. I can do both.

Tiramisu in Martini Glasses
serves eight

2 pkgs. petite lady fingers
(I found these at Kroger. They are not as crisp as most, but rather had a cake texture to them.)
1 cup International Coffee - Dark Mayan Chocolate - made extra strong and cooled
1 pkg. instant chocolate pudding prepared by package directions
1 eight oz. package mascarpone cheese at room temp.
8 oz. heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract4 Heath chocolate bars, crushed

Slightly moisten lady fingers with coffee and line sides of eight large martini glasses with them.
Mix chocolate pudding into room temp mascarpone cheese until well blended and spoon into glasses completely covering lady fingers.
Can be prepared to this point and refrigerated overnight.
Whip cream, powdered sugar and vanilla together until stiff and top each glass.
Top with crushed heath bars.

This recipe and photograph remind me of Sandra Lee. . . .I should have mentioned that at dinner. . . for a laugh.

It was a great night~ We all smiled and laughed. WE MISS YOU, TIM! and your family. Auburn just isn't the same without you.

Lent Redux

2009-02-26T20:14:00.000-06:00

RENEWAL OF OUR COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER

If you've been reading my boring musings for a year, you know that I posted a blog about Lent last year.

Lent is my favorite liturgical season. Last year literally changed my life. I know that sounds mellow-dramatic and over stated, but it is the truth. I have a relationship with my mother that I did not have before Lent last year.

So now, what to do this year~ Like I said before, I prefer to take something on, rather than give something up.

In this season of self-examination and prayer, I want to focus my thoughts and prayers on how I may be a source of healing grace for the people in my life.

I plan to accomplish this by focused and intense centering prayer every evening including the lighting of candles. I want to work to create an atmosphere of peace around those I love and around those that I don't love so much~

I have given a lot of thought to tolerance since the presidential election in the USA. I've decided that I HATE the words tolerate and tolerance. I can tolerate a barking dog. I want to pay more attention to respecting and listening to people who are different from me without insisting that they become like me in order to be acceptable and respectable to me.

I repeat the line "respect the dignity of every human being" every time I attend Eucharist, just like all of my fellow Episcopal parishioners. It is part of my Baptismal Covenant. I believe what I am saying when it comes to sexual orientations and gender identities, those of all races and cultures, and those of all classes and abilities.

I fall short in respecting people with traditional Protestant and conservative political beliefs. They are the enemy to my beliefs. I'll never believe like they do, but I want to accept, respect, listen and befriend them just as they are. I have hope that they will do the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A note from last year:

I got a couple of private notes about my post last year regarding the quote about women at the end. I said then and I'll say now - the word women, woman can be replaced with men or man without changing the meaning. I used the word woman because I am a woman.

Fire and Rain

2009-02-17T22:01:00.000-06:00

Our second son has the ability to make us laugh, cry, scream and he scares the living daylights out of us.

On Valentine's Day, he, Tom and Pop decided at the last minute to drive to Mobile to meet me and watch the final game of the Southern Shootout Soccer Tournament. Tom allowed Foster to bring a guest - his friend with whom he has gotten in deep trouble on more than one occasion.

It was pouring rain in Mobile and Foster and his friend were bored. They were banging the metal bleachers, walking in front of all the spectators and generally being a nuisance. They found a playground and asked me if they might go over there and play. PLEASE DO, I told them.

Foster comes back looking like this:

After cleaning blood, applying ice and with a lot of quizzing, we learn that he was jumping from the "bar" to the "wall" and the rain made him fall. His head "went sliding on the concrete and smashed the wall with a wicked crash." "Am I gonna have a Black Eye? Cool." "Mom - it was the RAIN, it wasn't ME."

If that's not enough excitement for one day - we get MORE. Around mid-night we get home from the Mobile tournament. We methodically go from car, to bathroom, to bed like overly tired zombies. On a normal night when we have sleepover company I sleep on the very uncomfortable day bed in the sun room so that I can monitor the goings on of mischievous twelve year olds. On this night I assume everyone is going to bed, dead tired after all the excitement and four hours of driving.

Yeah Right! Around 8:30 a.m. or so we are awakened by banging on our door and Trey screaming -- THE TREE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.

I look out the sliding glass door in our bedroom into the back yard and see 25-30 foot flames shooting straight up the tree and the tree house is totally engulfed in flames.

Every single nerve in my body seizes . . . . "WHERE'S FOSTER AND J___?" I screamed that gut terror scream with tears flowing and my body shaking uncontrollably. I flashed back to 1970 when I watched my home go up in flames with my brother inside. The smell, the crackling sound and heat were all the same. I fell apart.

Pop grabs me and says - THEY ARE IN THE BED ASLEEP, Missy. Everything is going to be OK.

They were in the bed asleep - then WHO? It had to be deliberate because nothing else was on fire.

I call 911 and they tell me to stay on the line because I am the homeowner and I can see the fire, even though they have already gotten many calls. I tell the dispatcher - "It HAD to be set, WHO the hell would do such a thing?" Tom, who is on the other line, walks into the room and quietly whispers to me - please don't say anything else. My next thought is "Oh Shit, you've GOT to be kidding me."

Two fire trucks show up, three police, the fire chief and the police chief. When I see Foster he is crying and saying, "we didn't mean to set it on fire - we were just lighting leaves and stuff. "

They failed to completely extinguish the leaves and other "stuff" that they snuck out at 3 a.m. to light with a candle lighter INSIDE the tree house. The stuff smoldered for five hours until it turned into a tree house inferno.

Foster is on total and complete lock down restrictions until further notice. We took away his cell phone, computer, television, "thug" clothing and he has a long long way to earn our trust again.

Almighty God, heavenly Father, you have blessed us with the joy and care of children: Give us calm strength and patient wisdom as we bring them up, that we may teach them to love whatever is just and true and good, following the example of our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
BCP p.829, For the Care of Children

2009-02-10T07:37:00.000-06:00

My Rock. My Cheerleader. My Friend.
Lewis Mack Foster
November 1, 1934 - February 10, 2007
I'll love you and miss you forever.

A Long Overdue Pot of Miscellany Stew

2009-02-08T09:31:00.000-06:00

My friend Pam asked for a "Miscellany Stew" update. I like this fast paced update - it helps me not to get bogged down in details - which reminds me - to the person that asked, "Can you tell any story without going back to when God created Adam and Eve?" - the answer is YES! and here goes~

The extended family front: Mother is doing well as far as recuperating from lung cancer, but fell again and hurt her arm pretty badly. It required a visit to the emergency room - but she is better. Pop is having a few issues, but the biggest headache is how to keep all his girlfriends separated on Valentine's Day. My niece and her new husband bought a new house and their baby is due in April. My nephew got engaged to his long time girlfriend and we're very excited about that. My big brother's business is in the toilet and my little brother is hanging on to his job for dear life - all due to the economy. Tom's brother's family is well - getting ready for Tom's nephew to graduate from high school, and keeping up with his niece's softball schedule.

The boy front: Foster has been sick for almost a week. He had an abscess in a baby molar that we thought was the culprit, but turns out not to be the case. It's a "flu-like" virus. When something slows him down - we ALL pay attention. Trey made the varsity soccer team and is going through the trials of being the new young kid on the block - and the heartbreak of his best buddies being on the other team. He's having to make some tough choices, too. He plays the bass guitar for all the Auburn City School's choirs - (4 I think - not sure) and it is beginning to conflict with his soccer and other activities. He takes all of this overly seriously, and he/we are working through it. He gets his driver's license in 85 days. Both boys' grades are still good.

The Tom front: Tom is still taking golf lessons and practicing a lot. In all of our married life - 20 years - when he has stressful times - he takes up a hobby/skill to help him through. I should learn from that, huh? He has been working what amounts to two jobs since mid-summer or so. It's nice to finally see some of the fruit of his labor. Auburn University, UAB, Siemens Corp. and the State of Alabama are going to announce in the next few weeks that they have established the Siemens/MRI Research Center. That is if I haven't jinx it by announcing it here. Most everyone on campus knows about it, but there is still a lot of work to do before the official announcement is made. It's an amazingly big deal for him - I'm so proud of him I could burst. He deserves this. I can't get used to seeing him in a tie, though, and am over wrought with jealously because he'll have a parking place.

The Melissa front: If you don't know that I finished my Master of Public Administration degree in December, you must live under a rock. I've been shouting it from every roof top. It feels good to finish - it took 6 years. The job that I applied for didn't work out - it was excruciating to go through that interview process and come in second - I'd rather be last. I like the man who got the job, but it's still hard. That means I'm still doing the development work for Rural Studio. Of course I love the Rural Studio, the CADC, the School of Architecture, my colleagues are a hoot, but I'm tired of fighting the same battles for 7 years.

I am machine quilting most everyday. I love that I'm back into it. I plan a real life F2F every week with a person/friend I've neglected during my school. I read some fiction everyday - I feel like Stephanie Plum is a BFF - fun fun mind candy. I've been exercising to video tapes, which is hilarious - I love to laugh at myself. I'm biking some when the weather cooperates - thank you Cindy. I'm planning a 5K in April - thank you Tara. I've lost about 1/2 of the stress weight that I gained the last two years - my strategy is to eat less, move more and not obsess over it. My only "diet requirement" is to weigh myself on Monday mornings - THAT'S IT! I don't have a solid goal, I don't write anything down, I don't weigh any food- just eat less and move more. It feels good not to carry that obsession around with me anymore.

Other Miscellany: My BFF Kim Scarborough's son Will is in Boston at Children's Hospital having brain surgery on Monday. I'm in very close contact with her. She has handled the stress of this and of losing our other BFF in stride. When we lost Cindy, she and I have become so close. I can not wait for this ordeal to be over for her and for Will. I was a mentor for Ben Strickland for his confirmation into the Episcopal Church recently. I learned a lot about the Church, about Ben and about myself. It was a humbling experience. I've enjoyed getting back involved at church, too. I'm not missing school, yet.

OK, so maybe I DID go back to when God created Adam and Eve, but it's been a while~

I hope catch up with my Internet friends more often.

PEACE OUT.

“Respect the Dignity of Every Human Being”

2009-01-20T10:18:00.000-06:00

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire
Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God’s blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters’ childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN.

From: Episcopal Cafe

Service

2009-01-19T11:59:00.000-06:00

"Everybody's got to pitch in."
Barack Obama, calling for National Day of Service
to honor Martin Luther King Jr.
On January 19, 2009

Public Service means different things to different people. For some, it is employment for the greater good - a government job. To others, it means giving back in the form of work or money to the government or non-profit agencies that have given so much to them. And yet to some it means helping others when no one else is looking and doing so even if they are not likely to return the favor. Sound familiar?

Auburn University's College of Architecture, Design and Construction has included community service in its curriculum for many years. When most people think about this service-based learning model, Samuel Mockbee's Rural Studio comes to mind. While the Rural Studio is an amazing example, there are many others.

The Interiors Master's program has helped design the Salvation Army headquarters in Auburn and a quilt studio in Waverly.
The exterior design of these two projects was designed by the Design/Build Master's program.
The Urban Studio in Birmingham has designed Master Plans for communities all over Alabama.
Design Habitat is a studio at Auburn that won a national award for a Habitat for Humanity home design for rural areas where the volunteer base is small.

These are a tip of the iceberg.

The ethic of service taught at Auburn's CADC was never more evident than Thursday, June 15, 2009 when the college held an alumni reception at the old Farmer's Market area of Chattanooga, Tennessee in the community design studio known as Onion Bottom. The studio, run by Andy Smith '72, is a place where students at UT Chattanooga and practicing architects can gather and help design community facilities such as the police station for the city. The most amazing thing about the design center? It doubles as a homeless shelter at night. The homeless were invited in to take part in the reception after our program was over. It was 10 degrees that night.

CADC has 100 graduates practicing in the Architecture, Construction and Industrial Design areas in Chattanooga - 50 of them came to the event. The Chattanooga AIA gave a check that fully funds their Rural Studio Endowment started five years ago and they are seeking advice on what to do next.

Service, it is in CADC Alumni DNA.

At Onion Bottom, Chattanooga TN, January 15, 2009 from L-R
Thomas Palmer '98
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Dean Daniel Bennett '68
College of Architecture, Design and Construction
Josh Cooper '97
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Melissa Foster Denney '08
Rural Studio Development
Andy Smith '72
founder of Onion Bottom Community Design Studio
Heather Leigh Adcox '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Brad Shelton '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
and in front - Craig Peavy '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer

Best Friend's Friends

2009-01-11T10:35:00.001-06:00

Hello, My name is Shooter Wall. I am a 12 year old Labrador Retriever. I have a 10 year old brother, Tracker, a lab and Chesapeake Bay retriever "combo." Recently our world was turned upside down when our mom, Cindy Wall, left for work one morning, and we have not seen her since. There was a lot of activity at our house for a while, with many people coming and going. They were very upset.

We heard someone say that Mom had died suddenly (we are not sure just what that means.) Our veternarian, Dr. Mary Smith, came and took us to her office and we have been staying here ever since. We are very well cared for here, but it is not the same as being at home. (Who wants to live at a hospital?) Our friend Belle's mom is trying to find a family who are willing to adopt us and give us a new home....or even two families, each taking one of us.

We have been described as sweet, loving and well mannered. Dr. Smith does not know of any serious health issues. Tracker has some arthritis, so he likes to sleep on a cushioned bed; he takes medicine for his arthritis and thyroid.

At 70 pounds I have allergies that I take antihistamines to help; I also do not like thunderstorms, but have gotten more used to them... don't hear as well as I used to! (Just like my mom's friend Melissa! - the allergies, thunderstorms & hearing that is - she only wishes she looked like me!)

We miss Mom Cindy so much!! We want a family to love and share our time with. Please, if you know of someone who would like to adopt us, have them call Dr. Mary's office at 821-7810 and she will tell you about us. Thank you for any help you can give us.

---Linda Bayse, Shooter's Secretary

P.S. Cindy died in September and her dogs are boarded at the vet since then. Unless we can find a place for them, they will be put down on Wednesday, Jan.14th. Her brother can't keep paying the fee to board them ...... they have to go. Please, think hard. Cindy had such an impact on our community in so many ways, and I am certain that if we can just make more people aware of this situation, a home (or 2 homes) can be found. Perhaps someone can provide a foster home until an adoption can be arranged. Do you know of a foster home?

They do not have to go together; they can be fostered separately. These are such sweet, old dogs; we know that Cindy's wishes were that her dogs not be killed. Linda can be reached at 334-728-1500.

Thank you sweet Linda for taking this on. I'll help all I can to spread the word.

With my love,

Melissa

Makin' a List

2009-01-02T15:14:00.000-06:00

I live by lists. I have a list-style notepad that stays on the kitchen counter for me to jot down things that I need to do or remember.

Today as I scratched through the last item and tore off the page, I was surprised with this little ditty written by my eleven year old niece while she was here for Christmas vacation~

I'm saving this one.

The Obligatory January 1 Post~

2009-01-01T10:39:00.000-06:00

2008 was a mixed bag for me - it ended on a high note, but had one of the lowest notes of my life. My dear BFF died in September. She was my anchor and I'm learning to live without her guiding voice each day. One of our closest couple friends divorced. That rocked our world and totally blind-sided us.

I completed a long-time goal of getting a graduate degree. It's not for myself that I'm most proud, but for the example that it set for my children. I hope they take from this experience that we went through together that education is valuable, perseverance pays off, high goals are attainable with hard work, and it feels good to sacrifice for someone else's benefit. My oldest told me with a wink and smile - that what he learned was to get your graduate degree or degrees as early as possible because it's a lot harder when you're old. That's a good lesson, I think?!

One of my other dearest friend's son was diagnosed with a scary life-threatening disease. He is also a dear friend of my youngest. They'll need and get lots of support from us this year.

My mother blew through lung cancer like a hurricane. She came out the other side healthier and happier. She busted a 60-year smoking habit and hasn't coughed in months. I'm SO proud of her.

Tom's nephew made a perfect 36 on the ACT and is waiting for early decision at MIT. We're proud of him and all of his accomplishments - it seems unreal that he is a senior.

My nephew announced his engagement to his long-time girlfriend. We're so happy for them and can't wait to start the festivities.

My niece got married this year and is expecting her third child.

Both our boys made it through the first half of this school year with all "A" averages. At the little one's counseling session, I learned that he has perfect "A" end-of-year averages since he's received grades. I didn't realize they did yearly averages - I knew he'd never made a "C" but that was beautiful to see, but not as fun as seeing his face light up! Dang, I can't believe we set up his Junior High schedule. Time is passing by.

The passing of time brings me to 2009.

Any one who knows me knows that I am a goal-oriented person. I have to have concrete and specific goals and objectives. I rarely set resolutions on Jan. 1, but turns out that this is a good time for me to do just that.

I always look at my family and see how the three of them are fairing before I set any goals for myself. They need better nutritional habits. I hope to make more fruits and vegetables available. Santa already put vitamin supplements in their stockings. They are all three very active and in excellent shape. The youngest could use some extra emotional support while navigating the perils of seventh grade. I'll make sure he stays high on my radar this year. The oldest is putting too much pressure on himself and I'm having what I call "shorts" with him a lot lately. "Shorts" are quick but meaningful discussions. I've found that if I talk too much, it's less effective.

Tom's research and advancement is in full bloom and he's glowing in it. I'm proud of him and always look to him for encouragement and a good example for time management and work ethic. We're working together to find more time for each other and using it to keep the fires burning.

When I decided in 2001 to get a graduate degree, I stopped several other activities. I quit quilt guild, my vestry term ended, I stopped volunteering for PTA, I missed several study club meetings (they wouldn't hear of my resignation), and I stopped going to ECW. I hope to re-connect with some of these people with the goal of renewing their friendships. I miss them.

The goal that I'm most excited about is quilting. I hope to complete at least a quilt a month, maybe more. I've been making some connections with my quilting buddies and feel their compassion and enthusiasm seeping in already. I'm re-joining the guild in January, and have already joined the evening birthday group. I smile thinking about it.

~A goal here was deleted. I decided not to make it public afterall.~

Meditation and calming thoughts are skills that I hope to better develop this year. I know that I feel better when I practice centering prayer and calming techniques.

I want to join the beginners biking group. My objective is to work toward a goal of a more healthy lifestyle and I know that means being involved and connected to people with the same goal.

I want to continue with my online self-help course "Shrink Yourself." It's helped me recognize and work through my emotional eating habits. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels they have that issue.

I want to continue to focus on my weight as a source of unhealthiness, however I'm going to rethink how to do that. Right now I plan to use resources and challenges available to me to help set short-term goals. I'm changing my focus from weight loss to lifestyle change. Most importantly, I'm going to seek out supportive people who have healthy lifestyles to hang with.

Other things that I'd like to do, but am not setting as concrete goals - start or join a book group, start or join a meditation/prayer group, plan a regular girl's night out, plant more perennials, take a photography class, learn to swing dance, join the scooter club

AND spend more time condensing and rewriting my blogs so that they don't go on so~

Happy 2009! It's a good year.

Picture of a Man

2008-12-30T13:26:00.001-06:00

On this, the seventh anniversary of the death of Samuel Mockbee - I spent more than an hour mulling through thousands of photographs to find the perfect one to celebrate his amazing life. This is the one that touched my heart this year.

Jackie and Julius Mockbee accepting the 2003 AIA Gold Medal
awarded posthumously to Sambo Mockbee

Yes, Sambo inspired and continues to inspire hundreds and thousands of young architects (for kicks - google "inspired by Samuel Mockbee"). Sambo made better people out of all of us who were fortunate enough to know him. He is less famous for his genius as an artist, yet his paintings are as inspiring and thought provoking as his architecture. Above all of this, Sambo was an amazing Papa to Margaret, Sarah Ann, Carol, Julius and loving husband to Jackie Mockbee. Each of his children carry with them a part of Sambo's spirit - it is them and Jackie, that I salute and honor today - for they are Sambo's true legacy.

Samuel "Sambo" Mockbee
December 23, 1944 - December 30, 2001
Peace be with you friend, father, husband.

The Journey Begins

2008-11-05T10:22:00.000-06:00

"It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where we are today, but we have just begun. Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the world we leave our children is just a little bit better than the one we inhabit today."

President-elect Barack Obama

Why Women Should Vote

2008-11-03T21:35:00.000-06:00

A shameless cut and paste from an email I got today - but IMPORTANT~

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived
only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920
that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed
nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking
for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive.
Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing
went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of
'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'

(Lucy Burns)

They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above
her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping
for air.

(Dora Lewis)

They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her
head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate,
Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack.
Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging,
beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917,
when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his
guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because
they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right
to vote.
For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their
food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)

When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied
her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her
until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks
until word was smuggled out to the press.

http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/collections/suffrage/nwp/prisoners.pdf

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because-
-why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work?
Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new
movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle
these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling
booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the
actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote.
Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege.
Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history,
saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk
about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. 'One thought
kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said.
'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use,
my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just
younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The
right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history,
social studies and government teachers would include the movie in
their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere
else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing,
but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think
a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a
psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently
institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice
Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for
insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so
hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic,
republican or independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made. NOW BE SURE TO VOTE AND KEEP MAKING HISTORY!!!

Dancing Soul

2008-10-10T20:46:00.000-05:00

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn ~

I've come here often since Sept. 24 - only to stare blankly and wash my face with tears. I miss you terribly, want to talk to you and laugh with you and sew with you and eat lunch with you while you talk on your cell phone. I want to watch people's faces when they see us drive up on scooters at Momma G's. I want to sit with you in the back of the quilt guild meeting and pass notes. I want to watch you and Tom make killer margaritas. I want to watch you achieve your biking goals all over again. I want to hug beautiful quilts with you. Most of all, Cindy, I want to hug you and tell you - Thank you for being my friend for eleven fun years.

Busy

2008-08-17T19:51:00.001-05:00

Busy robs us of our life. With so many balls to juggle, we end up too busy to live. Too busy to post. Too busy to quilt. Too busy to read. Too busy to exercise. Too busy to phone. Too busy to have dinner with friends. Too busy to go out. Too busy to relax. Too busy to LIVE.

What is life if it is too busy? How do you live in the moment if you're too busy?

I came across this - Busy Blog

Busy - begs the question. . . .Am I inefficient?

I don't think so - I'm indecisive. I have too many choices and I can't decide what I want, what makes me happy - I want it all. I want my children to have it all. I want my marriage to have it all. I want to do the best job possible at everything I do - so, I try to do it all. When in fact, if I decide to do a few things well, I wouldn't be busy, but rather I'd live.

Big Mommas

2008-07-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

This is for my dear friends who are NOT UBER SKINNY MOMMAS~

First and I do mean first - you must read

THIS - CHEESECAKE MAVIN'S DAY AT THE POOL~

I have to say~ The Uber Skinny comments came from a 12 year old that weighs 65 pounds with his shoes on! and I CAN FEEL HIS BONES!

Where's my royal blue tutu?

Thoughts About Change

2008-07-12T11:22:00.001-05:00

Change~ Why is change appealing to me? I get bored easily. I need a change of scenery, a change of routine - always. I don't like leftovers for dinner.

I passed the seventh anniversary at my job this summer - the longest I have ever worked at one place before that was five years. My job duties drastically changed two years ago - I guess that counts as change.

We've lived in this house for 11 years, in Auburn for 14. A lifetime record for Tom, an adult life record for me. I lived in my parent's home for 19 years.

Because we have a very open floor plan, we've changed this house around many many times. One day the sun room is a playroom, one day a computer room, one day a dining room, now it is a "keeping room" complete with futon and television - oh my!

We're thinking about making a change, though, to another house - just maybe.

Next week - Tom and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. We dated for six years prior to getting married - that's 26 years we've been together. Not much change associated with that - except that we make sure we're always engaged in something new in our life - always.

There's strong possibilities of big changes around the corner for both of us and we are both giddy with excitement. We're trying to stay grounded so that we're not grossly disappointed and unhappy if the results are not what we want. Our solution - figure out another change.

Sweet! Two Covers. I agree Rolling Stone ~ Too Cool for Words.

2008-06-26T19:55:00.000-05:00

A Huge Pot of Miscellaney Stew

2008-06-21T14:56:00.000-05:00

Check out Try for Friday again - this time on Babulous~
Last Friday they borrowed $4K worth of microphones, set up tons of computer equipment, mixers - etc. and spent almost 48 hrs. in our basement recording two songs - I so wish we had a photograph.

The only song I have is a cover of Muse's Hysteria. I couldn't figure out how to put it in a blog post itself - so I posted it as a page element. I'll leave it up for a week or two.

Our oldest son goes to soccer camp tomorrow at Birmingham Southern College. He is super excited and has been packing for days. Soccer is his life these days.

He spends six days a week either cross country running, strength training, or playing pickup soccer to stay in shape during the off season - which is only June and July! He plays either club or high school soccer ten months a year. This year his club team, Auburn Thunder U-16, is playing in Division I State. He hopes that if for the next three years he goes to college summer camps, plays Division I club league and starts on a 6-A high school team - he'll get a college scholarship - or at least be able to walk on without ridicule. His only set back, according to him - he lives in Alabama -- Not exactly your bastion of Fútbol. Our club, which now has Alex City and Montgomery players on it because of the Alabama six-man rule - is pretty good and we're hoping to play in tournaments in Georgia and Tennessee where soccer is much better and well respected.

We purchased the Sports package for our cable to watch Euro2008 There is a game everyday. We TIVO or rather DVR with our cable company - every game and watch them in the evening.

Our youngest son has decided he wants to play the alto saxophone! His reason you ask? Because all of his buddies decided to play woodwinds in the middle school band. UGH! This is the child that was fired by not one but TWO piano teachers. He says to us. . .I wanna play the drums - so we bought a very nice Tama set. Lo and behold - his drum instructor FIRES HIM, TOO! Ugh. . .he HATES practice. We're renting a saxophone.

Interestingly enough there is a strong history in my family of alto sax players. My older brother and his daughter were both first chair alto sax players in the Auburn University Marching Band. Danny from 1976-1980, his daughter Alison from 1997-1999. It's fun when they come to alumni band week.

I wish the little one could find something to be passionate about like big brother. He's naturally better at soccer than big brother, just doesn't have the drive to succeed - same with music. He's still only twelve and I'm sure he will find it - my guess is stand up comedy.

We've been looking for a new house -- Just randomly. We're thinking that now may be a good time to buy - we have a list of folks who have asked us to let them know when we want to sell ours. . . .we think now is the time. More than likely we'll make a lateral move - not looking for bigger or better, but less maintenance and one floor. We're having a hard time finding something in town - there are lots of homes for sale in the sub-divisions on the edges of town. We like living in the city.

I'm tired of politics for awhile. Seems like I have "discussions" with my big brother almost everyday. We cancel each other out. He is a wealthy lumber importer who is against any and all environmental issues. He imports lumber and sells it to the mobile home industry and home improvement mega-stores. I call him a rain forest raper. He mostly imports from Brazil, Indonesia and Peru.

I raise money for a program that is trying to build homes to compete with the mobile home industry for USDA 502 loans! For those who don't know the jargon - 502 loans are subsidized home loans up to $57K - usually you can't find a stick-built home for that price, so most govt. 502 loans go for mobile homes~ a stupid investment for our government - not to mention how they are misleading the borrower - they have NOTHING after 30 years with a mobile home - are basically homeless after paying a mortgage for 30 yrs. It's a disgrace. Stick-built (or in our case steel frame-built) homes are sustainable! After 30 yrs. the homeowner has a home to pass to their children.

We are building proto-types in rural and poverty stricken west Alabama - we hope to distribute the plans nationwide with the help of a few corporate investors - in 2009~ Exciting times - for me anyway.

Big brother has other issues with Barak Obama that I don't care to discuss here. Oil and Water - that's what we are in politics - thankfully, we agree on lots of other issues.

Funny thing. . . of all my family members - my little brother - who I have so many other issues with - mostly with in regards to personal responsibility - is the most logically minded family member I have! on my side of the family that is. He listens, reads and makes good political decisions - from my point of view anyway~

That's a lot of stew~ Until next time . . . . be cool.

Celebrating My Daddy

2008-06-15T02:06:00.000-05:00

My Daddy was the BEST Papa to Trey and Foster. He loved them very much and was so kind to all children. He was truly engaged with them, made eye contact with them, and loved to play.

He kept Trey while Foster was born at East Alabama Medical Center and couldn't wait to get to the hospital to see little Foster.

He spent EVERY Christmas of their life at OUR house.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Daddy. These "puppets" came with a book - they never read the book - they played their own game. Trey LOVED to visit his Papa.

When we did visit Papa, Papa always read to Trey until he fell asleep - even if I said let's just put him down Daddy or he'll have me doing that every night. . . .to which Daddy would always reply, well, Baby, maybe you should!

I love you Daddy, and miss you very much.

Peace Be With You Tim Russert, and Peace be with Your Family

2008-06-13T16:23:00.000-05:00

You loved your Father and you were a wonder father.

When my Daddy died a little more than a year ago, a friend bought me the Wisdom of our Fathers - I LOVE that book.

You are an example of excellent work ethic, of family values in the truest sense and your love of everything political is contagious. You will be greatly missed. This political junky can't imagine a Sunday morning without your visit and setting the political stage for the week.

PEACE be with you always.

More Miscellaney Soup

2008-06-08T16:12:00.000-05:00

FINALLY, a great big exhale~

Even though I am a long-time Hillary Clinton fan, I gave my full support to Barak Obama months ago. I'm glad she finally gave her full support - and what better place to do it than the National Building Museum, which holds major significance in my life having been there on two extraordinary occasions in 2004. The Rural Studio Lecture and Exhibit and the AIA Gold Medal Award.

Charlie Wilson's War~ Another MUST SEE movie. It is essential pre-iraq wars history to learn, if you don't already know the history. It brings back memories of early '80s business world - that I'm proud to have survived.

And now something toally funny (Thank you Richard Pitts, my new friend I made in Chicago who's been in my circle of friends here at Auburn for a while) I stole it from his facebook. To all my republican friends~ I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid it's gonna be a blood bath.

And the only thing I can say about this. . . . . . . .

WHAT THE?

I have to explain. . . cause it is our Tubby afterall. . . . he spent his summer vacation with the soldiers in Iraq - and all he got for his trouble was this photograph with Bush~ He looks thrilled, doesn't he?

That's it for Miscellaney Soup this week. Two blogs to come - my amazing week in Chicago in June 2008, and the latest kick-butt Rural Studio Projects. . . .Stay Tuned.

Miscellaney Soup

2008-05-30T20:35:00.000-05:00

I've got a lot of things to throw at ya~

I LOVE THIS~~

We need to come together~

One of my favorite movies of all time -- JUNO~

After a lot of thought, I think I like it because Juno is SO self-confident, strong and makes unpredicted and out of stereotype choices. YOU MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE.

I'm STILL waiting to exhale~ WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? And God help ME, if I'm ever judged on the ministers and visiting ministers of the churches that I've attended!

What's with the plastic water bottle, Barack? You can do better than that!

And Finally~~

Separated at birth? Tom Denney - Keith Olbermann. . .you decide. Intelligent, handsome - salt and pepper hair, witty, and left - far left - of center. . .politically. . . .of course. . . . . .no wonder I have a crush on. . . . .Keith . . . . .and LUV Tom Denney.

Campaign Champagne

2008-05-21T10:21:00.000-05:00

The College of Architecture, Design and Construction at Auburn University - where I work - had a Champagne Celebration on April 25 at Fountainview Mansion in Auburn. Our capital campaign was a huge success and we had a fun time celebrating it. Pictured above are Tara, the Director of Development for CADC, Leslie the development coordinator, and me, the development and grant officer for Rural Studio. CADC is a great place to work.

State Champions~

2008-05-16T16:26:00.000-05:00

YAY! Finally, a tournament win~ and the one that counts the most. Go Auburn Thunder.

Votre guide touristique de Paris

2008-05-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

Soccer Chauffeur is cracking me up~

He'll be there until May 18 - follow along.

MY HEAD HURTS

2008-05-08T21:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not kidding - it realio and trulio HURTS! I had another full blown migraine with aura today. I'm just now able to look into the computer screen and it started around noon. I won't look at this screen for long.

The last time after I had one, I collected these images to write about them. The following image describes it well. It starts in my eye like a black spot or wavy spot - like heat waves. Then it starts to spread like a backwards jagged bright C. It gets larger and larger until it completely blocks my field of vision. This is usually in my right eye and my right arm goes to sleep with the needle prick feeling. It lasts about 20 minutes. I know that I have those 20 minutes (which I can't see through it to walk or drive) plus 15 more before I get a brain crushing headache that is totally and completely debilitating.

This image shows the color of it better. It is like a bright light. Twice it has been very colorful like a rainbow.

My headaches can last from a few hours to three days. I never know. I must get to a quiet dark place. There are some days when this is impossible.

If I take Imetrex (which I ALWAYS have with me) during the first onset of aura, I can cut the time drastically. After four hours, I take two Excedrin every six hours until it's gone.

I mostly know what my triggers are, but I don't have a clue what caused it today. Red wine, peanuts or peanut butter, too much chocolate will usually do it.

Where's My Pant Suit?

2008-05-05T22:19:00.000-05:00

Someone asked me today if I can support Clinton if she beats Obama for the Democratic nomination. Even though the polls are showing that she is gaining ground and that Obama can’t seem to crack the “Bubba” vote (well – DUH!! We ALL know what that’s about), I still believe that he will pull out this nomination. The Democratic Party’s super delegates are fools if they ignore the surge of young, enthusiastic and absolutely – idealistic -- voters just because the party thinks it can win in November. It’s about our future, stupid! Not necessarily about the next four years. We’ve not been forward thinking in the past, maybe I’m the idealistic one thinking that we are now.

However, the question is still in the air . . . .can you support Clinton if she is the democratic nominee for President of the United States?...?

You can bet your burnt orange pant suit I can! and here’s why –

Affordable Healthcare for all Americans is her #1 issue – I grew up with a self-employed father with a modest to low income, and a part-time working mom. When it came time for me to go to college – they had $23,000 in medical debt. That’s a lot of money in 1980 terms, when tuition was $2,500 a year and I even qualified for Pell Grants and couldn’t afford it.

Ending the Iraq War. She vows a phased redeployment within her first days in office and actually has a very well thought out and sustainable policy.

Energy and Environmental Concerns. “Hillary would transform our economy from carbon-based to clean and energy efficient, jumpstarting research and development through a $50 billion Strategic Energy Fund and doubling investment in basic energy research. She would also spur the green building industry by funding the retrofitting and modernization of 20 million low-income homes and take concrete steps to reduce electricity consumption, including enacting strict appliance efficiency standards and phasing out incandescent light bulbs.” Those of you who know me well – know this is paramount with me.

She has been a champion for women for decades. “Today, despite the progress women have made, they earn only 77 cents for every dollar men earn -- and women of color earn even less. Hillary is leading the charge in the Senate to strengthen equal pay laws and end pay disparities between men and women. She introduced the Paycheck Fairness Act to strengthen the penalties associated with wage discrimination, to ensure that the federal government sets a higher standard, and to increase oversight of employers. Hillary has also worked to increase access to capital and other support for women-owned businesses.

When it comes to each woman's ability to make the most personal of life decisions, Hillary has stood firm as an advocate for a woman's right to choose. She has expanded access to family planning services, including for low-income women. She spoke out forcefully against the Supreme Court's April 2007 decision that -- for the first time in decades -- failed to recognize the importance of women's health.”

I could go on and on. . . .I can’t believe I didn’t put her vision for rural American up top, or her well thought out economic plan (which I hope Obama adopts once elected) . . .all her issues are up top for me. . . .

So why am I supporting Obama . . .it’s simple. . .he is grassroots America, he’s new, his policies are not that much different from Clinton – but he brings with him energetic supporters and he is not accepting money from lobbyists in the healthcare industry, the oil industry or the weapons industry. . . .unlike Clinton. AND he is a new hope for our American youth - our young people LOVE HIM. We should listen to our young people. And, of course, there's that whole divisive issue - which I can't understand - WHY do people hate her so ?

McCain will bolster troops in Iraq, has vowed to overturn Roe v. Wade, and will stop all stem cell research – not to mention his immigration (anti-Mexican) policy, and openly admits that he knows nothing about the economy. There are many other issues too numerous to mention here.

At the end of the day. . . . .even if McCain is palatable to some democrats - it's those few issues that turn me away. Let's concede that he has the Bubba vote. We woman, young people, people of color and traditional working-class Regan democrats can make a majority and win in November with Obama or Clinton - if we stick together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All quotes and facts are from the candidate’s web sites:

HillaryClinton.com
BarackObama.com
JohnMcCain.com

Postscript - I referred to Senator Hillary Clinton as "Clinton" in this blog just as I referred to Senators Barack Obama and John McCain and "Obama" and "McCain" - it was her own web site that referred to her by her first name - Hillary - a fact that I find highly irritating. She should be shown the same respect as the men she's up against - and not referred to by her first name thus lowering her rank.

And. . .He Drives

2008-05-04T12:06:00.000-05:00

My son, Trey, turned 15 yesterday. He spent his day doing community service work for National Honor Society. He waited until the last minute to do his service - so he had no choice but to get his remaining eight hours in on his birthday. He came with me to the annual Auburn University Rural Studio Pig Roast.

Of course I didn't take many pictures - I never have time to do that. I am disappointed and hope that some of our students or staff did.

Trey had a day he will not soon forget, I know I won't.

It started out with him helping get the lunch ready, carrying boxes, etc. Then he had to help set up for the celebration in the evening - which included cleaning out the SubRosa~~ It had a lot of water in it from the storm the night before. He helped set up tables, spread hay over the wet spots on the ground, sell t-shirts = they kept him VERY busy.

He was helping to take loads of stuff from one venue to another when. . . . Johnny Parker, our construction supervisor and man who knows and does all! threw him the keys to the truck and said, "here drive this over to Chantilly." Trey told Johnny that his parents didn't let him drive, yet, that he just turned 15 today. To which Johnny replied in only a way Johnny can. . . DRIVE THE DAMN TRUCK!! Trey did.

Turns out I had gotten back from the tour by then and was sitting out front of Chantilly only to see my son, BY HIMSELF, driving down Highway 61! He pulled up with the biggest grin on his face and said please don't be angry - Johnny made me, and I knew he was telling the truth. Trey was scared to death. He has only driven a few times before with me or his dad.
Johnny scolded me up and down. . . A 15 year old BOY who has not ever driven a car? What the hell is that about woman? You better get with it or I'm gonna have to take him away from you!

Johnny took Trey under his wing for the rest of the evening - Trey helped him fix the electrical wiring to the stage, got to shoot real big boy fireworks, Johnny took him for another long drive and a few other things that will remain our little secret for now.

But the best present of all - Johnny went to the Piggly Wiggly in Greensboro (the only grocery for miles and miles) and bought Trey a birthday cake - asked Pam Dorr to decorate it and had about six or so Auburn University Sophomore women sing happy birthday and present the cake to Trey in front of 200+ Pig Roast guest. . . .

A birthday to remember for sure! Thank you Johnny.

Encore! Try for Friday

2008-04-30T20:17:00.001-05:00

Come Together~

and

Let It Be~

My thoughts~

1. I HATE that stupid pole. . .I SO wanted to move it when we finished the basement - $15K!! Just to move the pole - it is load bearing - not a chance.

2. It makes me smile to see them do this for fun.

3. Did you notice the Fathead Homer? A gift to Tom.

4. I can't believe these boys are 15 and 16 YEARS OLD!! What happened to our little boys?

Did I say that I LUV Try for Friday?

Doughnut Man Does a Dozen

2008-04-29T08:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Sweet Precious Foster,

You're twelve today. You changed our life on April 29, 1996. You make us smile everyday. We love you, are proud of you and thank God everyday that he blessed us with such a blithe spirit.

With all of our love,

Mommy, Daddy and Trey

Quentin, We're Proud of You

2008-04-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

Auburn’s Quentin Groves was selected in the second round of the NFL draft by the Jacksonville Jaguars on Saturday, the 52nd selection overall.

One day last year - about this time of the year - I went to Cary Woods Elementary School to check my son out early. I don't remember why.

I noticed a big guy sitting in the waiting area playing with a phone, or Gameboy or some electronic thing. I thought he must be some one's brother or dad.

I told Ms. Mitchell that I needed to get Foster and she got on the intercom to his room and asked Ms. Cope to send Foster up front that he was being checked out.

The big guy stood up, walked over to me and asked me if I was Foster Denney's mother. I looked way up until my neck hurt - and said, "Umm maybe? Depends. . ."

He chuckled and said, "Hi, my name is Quentin Groves. I spoke to Foster's class today. He gave me his autograph."

We both cracked up. I shook his HUGE hand. He told me that Foster was a trip and I told him that was nothing I didn't already know.

Foster walks in - they share a "we've been brothers forever" kind of handshake. Quentin tells Foster to stay cool. Foster says, "always, man, always!"

You know, Quentin could have left Auburn and probably gone higher in the draft last year - but he was speaking to fifth graders instead - making them feel good about themselves.

We believe in you, Quentin, and are very proud of you. We know you will always do well because you have what all good Auburn folks have - Character.

Why I Love Holy Trinity

2008-04-26T10:16:00.000-05:00

Mission Statement

Holy Trinity is a diverse and vibrant community of Christians who
seek to live the Gospel in the Anglican Tradition.

We are an inclusive, Christ-centered community reaching out to all who seek a deeper spirituality and relationship with God and one another. Our parishioners are multi-generational and come from a wide variety of backgrounds. At Holy Trinity families, children and youth are rapidly growing in numbers. We are an open and affirming congregation centered on a common faith in Christ. We hope you will worship with us soon.

DIVERSE, INCLUSIVE, AFFIRMING. Holy Trinity welcomes everyone - just as you are.

AND, I'm proud of our latest - Stewardship of Creation. We've created a task force to advocate for wise and just environmental policy and to provide opportunities for service in the stewardship of the earth. Yep, you guessed it - I joined the task force.

Peace~

Missin' Daddy Blues

2008-04-24T09:44:00.000-05:00

Daddy came to me in my dream last night. He said, “Baby, let go of those old haints now, ya hear me. Your life is too short for that kind of nonsense and you’ve had a good life – a lot better than you think.”

Wow, just wow. Profound. But, wait, what EXACTLY did you mean? Daddy?

He never had much to say when he was living. He told me two other times in my life to “let go of old haints.” He meant grudges and regrets.

For the most part, I think I’ve lived my life daily and real. But if I am truly honest, I have to say that deep down inside, where it really counts, I do have a haint or two.

Ironically, and somewhat comforting, I woke up to a computer message this morning from a former student – one of my favs – Connely.

Folsom Prison Blues was one of my Daddy’s favorite songs. I cried.

Earth Day Pledge

2008-04-22T16:32:00.001-05:00

Earth Day is Every Day.

What we've already done:

recycle all aluminum, glass, cardboard, and newspaper.

changed all of our light bulbs to compact fluorescents.

car pool everyday.

traded our SUV.

ride bicycles, scooters and motorcycles when we can.

walk when we can.

use refillable, non-disposable coffee cups and water bottles.

use reusable shopping bags instead of disposable plastic or paper bags.

wash our clothes in cold water.

pay all of our bills online.

got our heat pumps serviced.

keep our cars serviced.

What more we can do:

learn to compost.

use the library more.

get our name taken off more junk mail lists.

suggest to people who send mailings to create email lists.

walk more.

get programmable thermostats.

What do you do Every Day for Earth Day?

Hear and Now

2008-04-14T10:20:00.000-05:00

This documentary airs on HBO from time to time. I think the next showing is May 8. Check your local listings - You've gotta see it! It's amazing. It's won many documentary film awards including a Sundance Film Festival Award.

"In this deeply personal memoir, filmmaker Irene Taylor Brodsky documents her deaf parents' complex decision to leave their world of silence and undergo a dangerous surgery to get cochlear implants -- the only one of its kind that can restore a sense. At the age of 65, Paul and Sally Taylor decided they wanted to hear their first symphonies, hear their children's' voices, and talk on the phone. How will this operation transform them, their relationship with each other, and the deaf world they might leave behind? This is a story of two people taking a journey from silence to sound. The question is, what will they make of it, and what might they gain -- or lose -- forever?" Irene wrote that preview.

Hear and Now is Irene Taylor Brodsky's first feature-length film. As a producer and cinematographer, she filmed polygamist Alex Joseph and his nine wives in the Utah desert, investigated the fragile state of American health care, followed a fetish clothing designer (HBO's "Real Sex") and produced TV documentaries and shorts on subjects ranging from Bollywood to bluegrass music. In 2004, Taylor Brodsky won an Emmy® for "The Rural Studio," her portrait of late architect Samuel Mockbee and his legacy in the American South."

I met Irene in 2003. She was hired to produce a feature for CBS Sunday Morning on the Rural Studio program in west Alabama. We became fast friends. She won an Emmy® for that feature and the Rural Studio benefited greatly. A year or so later she moved to Portland, Oregon. She went to a "Women in the Arts" luncheon and was introduced and the group was told of her award for her work at the Rural Studio. Amazingly, at the luncheon was a friend of mine from my days at the law firm in D.C. who at the time was the program director for the Center for Arts and Humanities for the state of Oregon. Irene and my friend Carol are great friends now.

What was it Walt Disney said? It's a small world after all.

Finally, The Beach Photographs

2008-04-12T11:41:00.000-05:00

This slide show is of our Spring Break trips to St. Joseph Peninsula State Park in Florida.

We love to go here. First of all, it is a state park with no development. The beaches are pristine with no lights. The peninsula faces West, unlike the other Florida beaches that we go to on the Florida panhandle. Because it faces west, the sunsets are amazing.

We've been five times. We only have photographs of three of those times. As I Blog, and Facebook and such - I'm getting better about taking photographs. Before, I had the attitude that things were not real. I wanted to live in the real moment.

Enjoy. We sure did.

Click on the link below - then "view as slideshow" for the best view. Sorry, I'm new at this. Any suggestions or help - please pass it on.

Denney Spring Break - a set on Flickr

Another Quiet Night at the Denneys

2008-04-11T14:47:00.000-05:00

What? in the world was I thinking?

I know! I love these boys.

Introducing = Try for Friday, the basement band that plays at our house - you guessed it - on Fridays.

Soccer Tournament from HELL!

2008-04-07T09:51:00.001-05:00

The first thing I want to say is that the tournament staff and the tournament itself was one of the best run I have ever seen - particularly because of the circumstances.

12 noon - Friday, April 4 - tornadoes hit Jackson, Mississippi. We are due to leave Auburn, Alabama at 3 p.m. to Jackson, a five hour drive, for a soccer tournament. I am going by myself with three 11 year olds. I think, GREAT - it'll be cancelled. Such a great mom, right?

2 p.m. - I leave my last meeting for the day at work. Check the phones and email boxes and no word from tournament staff. Our team caravan (two other automobiles) decides to leave at 4 p.m. because the storm is headed our way and we will have to drive straight through it. It's moving east and slightly north and we hope to miss it.

4 p.m. - we decide to wait 30 more minutes - phone the tournament staff - they say with great enthusiasm - TOURNAMENT'S ON. There are some areas without power, but tomorrow is going to be a gorgeous day - 75 degrees and sunny. Drive safely.

4:30 p.m. - we start on our way.

At about 5 p.m. we get to Montgomery, Alabama and I get a call from home - "Montgomery is under a tornado warning - what is the weather like?" UGH~ No rain, but to our right - just north of us the clouds look very ominous with little "fingers" pointing to the ground that look like they can turn into a tornado at any minute. We push on.

I'll spare all the details, but we did drive through some heavy rain, but no tornadoes.

We get to Demopolis and hear that our hotel in Jackson doesn't have power - to take our time. We stay at Hardees in Demopolis for two hours. . .ugh.

I get an AU Alert phone call. I work for Auburn University and because of all the campus shootings across the country, we have automatic notification of anything life threatening. Auburn is under a tornado warning - take cover immediately. I find my 15 year old son in Auburn. He is spending the night with a friend. Thankfully, they are in a basement. My husband is in our basement at home. Everyone is safe. No tornado hits Auburn.

We push on.

We get to our hotel at almost mid-night. Still no power. We get one flash light per room and four AA batteries. Joy. They tell us not to drive anywhere that night because there are power lines down everywhere. . . .the photograph above is the street behind our hotel. I'm not making this up.

I never slept all night. My car is in a pitch black parking lot with no security, there is no air movement in the room and I'm with stinky boys.

6 a.m. the next morning. Still no power. Get downstairs to the lobby and there is COFFEE! YES! Go back up, get the boys dressed for a 8:30 a.m. game. My door key doesn't work - UGH. At least the boys wake up and let me in.

7:15 a.m. in the lobby to caravan to the game - Games have been delayed FOUR HOURS!

What do you do with 11 year olds in a hotel and city with no power for FOUR HOURS - and it's pouring down rain? I put them in my car - we plug in several electronic things - and play electronic games and cards in the car! Why not in the lobby? Because there are 100 other U-12 soccer boys running around.

What happened to the nice sunny weather? Nobody could ever tell us.

FINALLY, it's game time. The directions to the field are wrong - our coach's fault. He gave us google maps and NOT the official game maps. I show up late - get yelled at by the same coach who gave me the wrong directions. I'm ready to pack it up and go home. Thankfully, another dad takes up for me - and I settle.

The fields are muddy, it's 40 degrees and the boys are covered from head to toe with mud - AND we lose to a team from New Orleans 6-0. UGH. Miserable.

We get back to the hotel and my new key doesn't work - it's pitch black and the door won't open. UGH. Luckily, this time a maid is in the dark hallway to let me in.

I get on the phone and find a new hotel in Pearl, MS. 25 miles away. We ALL go.

We get there check in - we barely have enough time to get to our next game. No showers - nothing.

We lose our second game 7-0 to a team from Baton Rouge.

Back at new hotel - MY KEY DOESN'T WORK! what? The lady at the desk tells me that Blackberry telephones wipe hotel keys clean! Something good to know.

We get amazing hot showers and the hotel has a washing machine. . .we're all set.

We go eat together - all 17 of us. I can't wait. Only we have to wait - 1 hr. At Ruby Tuesdays in Pearl, MS? Yep. Everyone is there from Jackson.

I go to the bar - and order a vodka martini, no vermouth with three olives, please. She laughs at me! Ma'am, Pearl is dry - we only sell beer! At least they have Corona! and limes.

I have a wonderful salad, grilled salmon with crab sauce, asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes and CORONA BEER! ugh! Should have ordered sweet tea.

Sunday was nice. We played a team from Hoover, AL - which is hilarious - it's a two hour drive to Hoover. We are more evenly matched, but Hoover pulls it out at the end.

We lose all of our games.

I tell the boys. . . .go to the bathroom . .. we are headed home, we are NOT PASSING GO, and we are not collecting $200. We're not stopping for ANYTHING.

We drive through for food and keep on going.

We arrived home at 4:30 p.m. yesterday, record time. I'm so exhausted I'm a walking vegetable.

The only funny thing. . . . .as we were running late to that first game . . . . a mild mannered little boy says to me . . ."It's OK Mrs. Denney, my mom acts like that, too, when she's upset."

Highway 80 West

2008-03-29T11:42:00.000-05:00

In a few minutes I'll be driving down highway 80 from Montgomery Alabama, through Selma - first to Newbern, Alabama - World Headquarters for AU Rural Studio, then to Greensboro, Alabama. Highway 80 is best known as the The Selma to Montgomery National Voting Rights Trail.

Today is the grand opening of Phase II and Phase III of Lions Park in Greensboro, Alabama.

Phase II is a theses project by AU Rural Studio architecture students Mark Dempsey, Russ Gibbs, Pamela Raetz, and Adam Kent. They built amazing public restrooms using sustainable materials and fabricated a device to direct the gutter water into culverts for use in the bathrooms. The bathrooms have the most amazing concrete sink - designed and built by these students. Can you tell I love these students and think they ROCK! Their BLOG is a must read.

Phase III is a theses project by AU Rural Studio architecture students Joey Aplin, Lindsey Butler, Adam Woodward, and Anthony Vu. They are known as the Lions Park Surfaces Team. Their job was to take the original site plan designed by Lions Park Phase I, and complete the “Surface, Edge, Entry, Signage” It evolved into a landscape project and the manipulation of the surface treatments within the park. It is beautiful, and has - quote me on this! - "The coolest signs in the world!" I WILL post a picture when I get back. Their BLOG is amazing and detailed and its first entry is fall 2006! All eight of these young people have devoted two years - one year after they graduated - to these projects and the people of Greensboro, Alabama.

Phase III's most exciting recent news is that we received a grant from The Tony Hawk Foundation for $25K to include a free public skatepark. I've been working on the final paperwork all week.

This is what I love about my job - I get to work with and around creative and talented young people who use their knowledge and skills to make the world (West Alabama) a better place.

I'll be donning my Greensboro Allstars game shirt complete with DENNEY on the back that was given to me at the opening of Phase I. Most of Phase I was paid for by a grant from Baseball Tomorrow Fund.

We're expecting 300+ people today - I can't wait to let you know how it goes.

A Quilt for Mark

2008-03-22T15:45:00.000-05:00

Mark's Quilt is finished. I don't have words to describe the process, nor the reason.

Here is a close up of the machine stitching by Cinnamon Dreams.

The cool backing fabric is a hand-dyed, then hand spot bleached. It gives a grassy, rocky feel.

This is a simple fence rail pattern made with a jelly roll of batik fabrics.

A jelly roll is 2 1/2 inch strips rolled up and tied with a ribbon to make a beautiful display of fabric. I took a 90 strip jelly roll and sewed four strips together, then made two 10" squares each. Each block is duplicated once. There was no rhyme or reason to my design - just tried to balance the colors. Some areas are more successful than others.

The label reads:

A Quilt for Mark

We hope this quilt warms your body and comforts your soul. Love, The Denneys.

I hope it does.

Our Annual Camping Trip

2008-03-22T15:31:00.001-05:00

Spring Break~ We know where we're going every year. We just had another wonderful week camping. Yep you read that correctly, camping.

For the last five years we have gone to Port St. Joseph Peninsula State Park.

We camp in a tent.

More about the adventures of the Spring Break Camping Trip coming up in future BLOGS~

In the meantime, who ARE these people and what did they do with my little boys?

Can you believe we take all this stuff? I'm looking

foward to telling you all about it.

Beware the Ides of March?

2008-03-15T20:12:00.000-05:00

I don't think so, this year. Today is National Quilting Day. In celebration, I sent a quilt for quilting for my friend, Mark, with sever colon cancer.

Next, I cut strips for my friend Judith. She and her husband, Ty, who died in January, have been our Auburn tailgate friends for nine years. I'm making her a blue and orange quilt with batik orange and black fabric reminiscent of tiger stripes for the border. The quilt is in honor or our years of fun, food and football. All the fabric was donated to me by friends of Ty and my friends who know how much I love to make quilts for people. Last, today, I worked on designing a baby quilt for someone who is having a baby in June. A celebration of new life, it makes me smile.

That's the thing about quilts. For both the maker and the recipient - they warm the body and comfort the soul.

Happy National Quilting Day.

What would you say?

2008-03-13T17:49:00.000-05:00

Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Professor Randy Pausch's Last Lecture~

10 Minute Version

72 Minute Version

Dr. Pausch's Web Site

I wish I knew how to tag - I'd like to know what y'all think - and what would you say in your last lecture?

A Must Read

2008-03-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

If you haven't read this month's RollingStone, you must read it.

In allegiance to my journalism background and in the face of full disclosure - I have to admit that I have one very close personal friend who worked on Obama's staff for almost two years and is almost assured a political appointment, and her husband is a leader in his Virginia campaign and both are my children's Godparents. And, another close friend is the Executive Director of the Alabama Democratic party and a Clinton delegate.

I have not told anyone who I voted for in the primary, and will not ever.

"Hillary's Last Stand: The tragic self-martyrdom of a groundbreaking politician" by Matt Taibbi is right on point. Those of you who know my politics well, know that I have been a Hillary fan when being a Hillary fan wasn't cool. I became disappointed when she voted to authorize military force in Iraq. I remember thinking. . . what? et tu Hillary?

I DO feel betrayed by her, but also feel an obligation to follow her wherever she goes - she IS after all, my role model - the woman who stood up and said, YES - it's perfectly ok for women to be strong, to work in a man's world, and be a role model for their children - and their children will grow up to be perfectly good citizens and happy healthy human beings, despite what people say ~ But, does the woman I want to be, vote for war?

"The Machinery of Hope: Inside the grass-roots operation of Barack Obama, who is transforming the way political campaigns are run" by Tim Dickinson, comes as close as anything to convincing me that there IS something to this man - there is more than campaign rheortic.

There is another thing that is moving me, really and truely moving me~ The young people that I know who are passionate about Obama. Even Robert McNamara later admitted that he was moved by the young people on college campuses and their protests in his book In Retrospect: The Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam.

WE MUST LISTEN TO THE YOUNG PEOPLE.

In another related matter ~~

I am the proud owner of a Stephen Fairey poster - One of the original 350! Obama fan or not - this is one the coolest things I've ever owned ~ third, maybe - to my signed Samuel Mockbee poster and Jennifer Bonner original~

Weekend Netflix

2008-03-10T07:39:00.000-05:00

I can’t say it better than this guy~ Good Movie. I LOVE Denzel Washington and LOATH Russell Crowe. They are both good in this movie. It’s long – so start watching before 9 p.m. on the Sunday before the first Daylight Saving Time Monday~ UGH~

American Gangster
A Film Review by James Berardinelli
THRILLER/DRAMA

United States, 2007

U.S. Release Date: 11/2/07 (wide)

Running Length: 2:37

MPAA Classification: R (Violence, profanity, nudity, drug use, sexual situations)Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Cuba Gooding Jr., Josh Brolin, Lymari Nadal, RZA, Ted Levine, Ruby Dee, Armand Assante, Carla GuginoDirector: Ridley ScottScreenplay: Steven Zaillian, based on the article "The Return of Superfly" by Mark JacobsonCinematography: Harris SavidesMusic: Marc StreitenfeldU.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures

American Gangster is compelling in the same way that many mob-related motion pictures are compelling, but it fails to achieve the greatness that the best of them attain. The problem with American Gangster may be that it tries to hard to provide balance between the protagonist and the antagonist but never really achieves it. While the story is rarely dull and there's plenty of material to fill up the more than 2 1/2 hour running time, there's an overall absence of dramatic tension. Ridley Scott rarely creates an uninteresting motion picture, and this is no exception, but American Gangster will not go down as one of the respected director's best efforts.

A Brave Man

2008-03-08T15:21:00.001-06:00

"You're crazy," the bank officer declared with a friendly chuckle. "Why, The Warrior River is full of catfish for anyone who wants them. There are more in there than people will ever eat. And you think you're going to go sell them when folks can go get them for nothing? That's just a bunch of dreams!"

That's what my friend, Mr. Richard True of Newbern Alabama, was told when he and his friends wanted to raise catfish instead of cattle in 1960. Today catfish farming has blossomed to be a mainstay of the our state's economy, not to mention that it has sustained the Black Belt Area during this same period.

Mr. Richard took a chance, he was brave. I can only dream of being so brave.

My friend Mr. Richard died Thursday night. Even in your death, Mr. Richard, you were a very brave man.

I will love you forever, and thank you for Frances, you lovely daughter who is my dear friend.

Peace be with you always.

Our Weekend Netflix

2008-03-02T14:31:00.001-06:00

A waste of 2 hrs. and 40 mins. It was aimless dialog that never seemed to have a point. It brought nothing new to the table - real or make believe.

If you like watching Brad Pitt for three hours, this movie might be for you.

On Lent and Personal Sacrifice

2008-02-26T09:36:00.000-06:00

Observing Lent, the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter, is supposed to help cultivate the discipline of making personal sacrifices, reminding us of the importance of spiritual truths over personal possessions or pleasures.

As many of you know, I am not an overly religious person. I believe in God, I follow the teachings of Jesus and believe that you can find spiritual truths in the Bible. Observing Lent has always appealed to me because I see it as a chance to grow and move forward in my spiritual journey and as a human being.

My Lenten sacrifice was presented to me this year - it was not one I chose.

My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer in January, had the middle lobe of her right lung removed on Valentine's Day. She came home to stay with me and my family until she recovers.

If you've ever taken care of someone, particularly an elderly person, who has had major surgery, you know the amount of personal sacrifice it takes. They depend on you for everything.

You might say, it's your mother, how can that be a sacrifice?

My relationship with my mother has been rocky to put it mildly. I have a lot of resentment, anger and total frustration that built up over the years.

I made the decision when I learned of her illness to take this time to try to work through some of this. I took her into my home to care for her.

This decision was not about her, but about ME. It was about the person that I want to be, it was about losing the burden of those angry feelings through personal sacrifice and spiritual growth.

I understand her better. I know she loves the best she knows how. I have to love her for who she is, she's not going to change. The only thing I can do is change how I react and feel.

A friend sent me a book of daily meditation to take me through this time. I opened it randomly today to this quote:

A wise woman strengthens her family

The influence of a woman on her family is phenomenal - for good or bad. Sadly, some women weaken their families through selfishness, ambition and carelessness. The vigilant, wise, and godly woman holds her family together, makes sacrifices to ensure its stability, and entreats God's blessing with her prayers. You can be that kind woman - the kind that builds up and strengthens. Ask God to help you. He will show you how.

I pray that my family is stronger, now.

Make It Go Away

2008-02-13T08:50:00.000-06:00

I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT SICK PEOPLE!

If I hear of another parent of a friend passing, or another young person with cancer, or another child with disease, I'm gonna run and scream.

It makes me want to do either of two things: Take excellent and better care of myself, or say F it! and eat, drink and be merry until they come to me with the news.

My Daddy

2008-02-10T09:18:00.001-06:00

My Rock. My Cheerleader. My Friend.

November 1, 1934 - February 10, 2007

I'll love you and miss you forever.

Early Valentine's Day

2008-02-09T20:35:00.001-06:00

Are you ready to line dance? What are we doing?

My sweet husband and oldest son. Trying to cheer me up. WHY didn't they tell me my coat was not buttoned correctly? I'm totally ragged out because I've been crying a lot today. Daddy's death anniversary and the anticipation of what's ahead. . .

Our backyard Arbor with Tiki Torches and Firepit. Serenity at it's best.

SUCK FACE! We had an early Valentine's celebration because I'll be out of town with my mother on Feb. 14.

My dear sweet precious husband - he's always there, always nurtering, and always taking care of me.

Poud Mama

2008-02-04T09:14:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm shameless~ This is my son on bass guitar when his Jr. High jazz band played in the mall at Christmas.

One Year Later

2008-02-03T22:12:00.000-06:00

This photograph is of my daddy, me, my mother, and my older brother. It was taken in May 2001. What a difference seven years makes.

My Daddy died on February 10, 2007, and just one year later, yep just two weeks shy of one year later my mother is diagnosed with lung cancer. She has surgery soon.

This is another road to go down. We'll manage. Losing a parent is hard. Thinking about losing both of them so close together - is even harder.

Me and my daddy were close. Me and my mother are oil and water. I've got a lot of soul searching to do - I've got to reach into places that before now were unreachable. Interestingly enough - It's a journey I'm looking forward to.

REDFACE

2008-01-26T18:19:00.000-06:00

I attended a professional development conference in Charleston earlier this month. I learned that some university development professionals are using Facebook to connect with their alumni and raise funds. The next week US News and World Report says many corporations are doing the same.

So. . .being the entrepreneur that I think I am~ I went to Facebook on Tuesday to check it out. I had to set up an account to view other accounts. The set up asked me if I wanted to invite my AIM friends to view my facebook - I thought for a minute and clicked YES, thinking that the only friends I have in my AIM are you guys here.

WELL~ I forgot that I added ALL of oldest son's friends to my account to monitor who he talks to - obviously, I haven't monitored in awhile. . . . Every single one of his friends were notified and invited to view my Facebook!~! HE WAS MORTIFIED~ What creepy Mom asks teenagers to view her Facebook? So. . my solution was to tell all of them what happened. . . EVEN MORE MORTIFIED~ Now not only am I creepy, I'm stupid!

I learned how to move around and have connected with some alumni - I may not get many gifts or donations for my job, but it sure is fun. Come check me out and join the fun.

Down Another Road

2008-01-23T16:45:00.000-06:00

For my regular blog readers, Bless Your Heart, you'll notice that I've changed things. I moved my diet/emotional/crappy stuff to another site. I'm still working it, but not on this blog.

Welcome to other emotional crappy stuff on this site.

Emo: (ē-mō)
1. (n.) Abbreviated from "emotive hardcore", relating to a genre of music coined due to a band's usage of emotional and personal lyrics.
2. (adj.) An individual who is a follower of emo music.
Example: You're so emo.
3. (adj.) A style of dress used by followers of 'emo'. This dress sense includes trucker caps, long fringes for boys, short hair for girls, black clothes and tight trousers.
Example: Those emo trousers are kickin'.

Last week my sweet, precious, can-do-no-wrong 11 year old told me that he was an "Emo."

I was informed that I need to purchase skinny black jeans, let his bangs grow out and since he knew I would not let him get a body piercing, let him have fake ones.

OK~

I bought the jeans, let him comb his hair in his eyes - but drew the line with the fake piercings.

My thought - another little 11 year old will tell him he looks ridiculous and it will all be over.

WRONG~ He loves it.

I try to understand, push a little - but not too much - and say - why would you want to do this?

He says: You let "big brother" be "Scene" and that's almost the same.

"Scene?" First I've heard of this.

"Scene" is a culture made mostly of teenagers and is relatable to emo. It is a culture derived to reject the "norm". Scene kids might often be quoted as saying "I hate people that arn't themselves" or "I dress this way because this is who I am!". Ironically, there has become a set mold which scene kids seemingly strive to fit, and they all look/act the same. "Scene" guys often wear: -Tight jeans-tight t shirts, often from elementary school/middle school, or picked up from the local thrift store.-tight blazers and jackets, even during a warm summer.-Long, greesy hair, cut and dyed at home, with bangs that cover 1/2 of a "scene" guy's face at a 45 degree angle. "Scene" girls often wear: -Bright colored makeup-Short, choppy hair, usually thicker on one side, and containing 2+ colors.Scene kids are almost required to own a myspace page. Here, they will network with hundreds of other scene kids, post dozens of pictures of themselves (from different, crazy angles and more often than not, incorporating a bathroom mirror), and write blogs about pointless teenage drama which nobody else truly cares about.
"I'm Scene. I'm a unique individual. And you stole my awesome, Scene, haircut."

OK~

Didn't know my sweet, precious, can-do-no-wrong 14 year old was Scene.

I corner my "stick his head in the sand" husband to discuss this. He says, "how it that different than you dressing up for the GoGo's concert in 1982?

The difference: I was a total "Poser"

"A poser is someone who tries to fit into a profile they aren't. People who try to give off the impression that they are one thing when they are really another."

I'm thinking. . . wow, my children have personality, don't they? I turned out OK, didn't I?

Otherwise, I'd freak out.

Mustang Oil . . . . and why a girl like me loves West Alabama

2007-11-17T19:08:00.000-06:00

There is no place on earth like Mustang Oil. In Greensboro, Alabama, Hale County - the heart of the Black Belt on the corner of Main Street and Highway 14 is a filling station diner that stole my heart. I first ate there in June 2001 with Samuel Mockbee, D.K. Ruth, Dick Hudgens, Andrew Freear, Steve Hoffman and Ann Langford. If I had known at the time the significance of the event - I would have taken a picture - or at least journaled about it. I guess like most folks who live in and during significant events - I had no idea I was living history. We were the first six faculty and Staff members of the Rural Studio - now an icon in American Architecture.

Samuel Mockbee would die on Dec. 30, 2001, would receive the AIA Gold Medal after his death two years later - it would be the one and only time I would eat with him at Mustang Oil. D.K. Ruth would retire from the Rural Studio shortly after Sambo's death - I've yet to eat there again with him - but doing so is one of the things I want to do soon. Steve and Ann have moved on to bigger and better things - and Andrew Freear, Dick Hudgens and I are the only folks from that day that are still around.

Dick is still teaching the best Southern American Architecture History Course in the world - he is the most amazing restoration architect from Selma Alabama - Dick is responsible for a lot of restoration projects throughout the Southern US including Pebble Hill in Auburn and St. James Hotel in Selma. He is also famous for teaching his students the delicacy of red wines - (You haven't lived until you've drank red wine from 32 oz. plastic cups with Dick Hudgens - I love you Dick).

Andrew is now the director of the Rural Studio and up for an amazing global award himself. He keeps pushing the Rural Studio to amazing new heights that "Proceed and Be Bold" can't even describe. I'm running the fund-raising efforts and we have a staff of twelve. Things are a lot different.

Andrew and I took a "high profile" donor on a tour of Rural Studio just two weeks ago. They were "high profile" enough that we had to make it "Sub-Rosa." - I term I will describe later. We toured all the amazing projects (http://www.ruralstudio.org/) and took these stiff shirt executives to eat at. . . . .you guessed it - Mustang Oil. It is so disarming, casual, honest, bold, full of heart and authentically Southern - that it creates a story to take home - all on its own.

A international student at Rural Studio for one year describes Mustang Oil like this:

"I know none of you will ever find yourselves in Greensboro, Hale County, Alabama. Or if you do, you will be very lost, trying to get from Birmingham to New Orleans, or something. But in case you do, and just because I can, I'm going to write a hymn of praise to the legendary Mustang Oil.It's all about the ribs. Yes, they do barbecue pork and chicken, hamburgers, catfish and more, but the reason why Mustang Oil exists is because of its rib plates. Beautiful, melting, tender-yet-firm, sweet, smoky yet sharp ribs, cut up with big shears and weighed on the scales before being plonked on a plastic plate. Then joined with the slaw and their Cajun fries, both of which are pinnacles of their genre. Get there just before midday so you can catch the fries when they are really fresh and crispy.It's almost impossible to say how good these ribs are. But I'll just tell you that my mother liked them. My mother is Japanese, very skinny, scared of rednecks and with a horror of fatty food. But she liked Mustang's ribs...Atmosphere-wise, it's a classic gas station diner. Formica, rough wood boarded walls, taxidermied stag heads and photos of hunting on the walls, alongside neon signs advertising Budweiser and Miller Lite. The cops eat here, so does the judge, so do the catfish plant workers, and the guys from John Deere down the road. In hunting season it opens at 3 or 4 in the morning to serve breakfast to the early morning hunters."

I write about Mustang Oil in my diet blog because while on this weight loss journey, two weeks ago I learned that Mustang Oil serves grilled skinless, boneless chicken breast with nothing but salt and pepper on them! Amazing, I thought. I ate a skinless, boneless grilled chicken breast with a slice of fresh tomato and iceberg lettuce.

As I ate my chicken breast (which was delicious) I remembered the day that Sambo ate ribs AND a chopped pork sandwich. I remember his big belly laugh and the sauce all over his beard. The laughs of that day echoed in my mind and mingled with the laughs of Oct. 30, 2007.

My thoughts were: Yep, things change - because they have to. While still honest to our heritage, our roots, and our family - I, the Rural Studio and Mustang Oil must change. I'm six years older, several pounds heavier - I must eat better. Rural Studio is the elder statesman in Design/Build Architecture - it must continue to move forward and boldly and is forced to grow up. And Mustang Oil must serve grilled chicken breast without skin, without fries, without being breaded and deep fat fried. None of these things need change our character or who we are.

By the way, that stiff shirted donor hasn't stopped talking about Mustang Oil or the Rural Studio and wrote us a check.