For Mark

From my sweet friend's Facebook page: She is so brave, and I can feel her pain through her words.

Ronda Unruh Bertus "Mark has stopped treatments for his cancer. It's just not working. He is now on Hospice, but staying home and having the hospice nurses come here. We are trying to keep his pain controlled and make him comfortable. He told me last night he wanted to start saying his goodbyes to the kids. I really hate cancer. It is killing me."

O merciful Father, who hast taught us in thy holy Word that thou dost not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men: Look with pity upon the sorrows of thy servant for whom our prayers are offered. Remember her and her family, O Lord, in mercy, nourish her soul with patience, comfort her with a sense of thy goodness, lift up thy countenance upon her and her family, and give them peace; through Jesus Chr ist our Lord. Amen. BCP, p. 831.

Mark J. Bertus

Almighty God, look on this your servant, lying in great
weakness, and comfort him with the promise of life
everlasting, given in the resurrection of your Son Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen. BCP, p. 462.

Buckle your seat belts

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

Every day is something new with two boys who are full of life and think they are invisible. I can't understand their tendency to risk life, limb, and reputation for no good reason.

All we can do is love them unconditionally, but set strict consistent boundaries regarding behavior - make sure those boundaries are consistently enforced. Communicate with them often not only about right/wrong and boundaries, but also about good character and decency. Have dinner together and find out what is going on in their lives. Show an interest in them and their lives (not just show - be interested). Teach them the social skills to carry on a balanced conversation. Encourage them to ask and care about other people.

With all of these plans - there are wrecks now and again. We pick up the pieces, go through a healing process and begin again. A wreck is an opportunity to start fresh and get back on the right road.

God our Father, you see your children growing up in an
unsteady and confusing world: Show them that your ways
give more life than the ways of the world, and that following
you is better than chasing after selfish goals. Help them to
take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance
for a new start. Give them strength to hold their faith in you,
and to keep alive their joy in your creation; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.

You Might Be a Racist If. . . . .

Shameless lifted from my friend and blogger "Birmingham Blues"

You Might Be a Racist If…

…you’re a justice of the peace who refuses to issue marriage licenses to interracial couples.

Keith Bardwell, who has been a justice of the peace for 34 years in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, says he always asks couples who call to inquire about marriage if they are interracial, and if the answer is yes, his answer is no. Louisiana law, of course, makes no mention of race. It requires only that the parties present their birth certificates, Social Security cards, and $35 (and proof of divorce if either was previously married).

Bardwell, bless his heart, invokes the “black friends” defense:

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

And he further defends himself by pointing out that he treats all interracial couples the same:

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.

So he doesn’t discriminate in his discrimination. Or something. And, hey, it’s not like he keeps those couples from marrying. They just have to go elsewhere. It’s just like pharmacists who use “conscience” clauses to refuse to dispense legally prescribed medications. No harm, no foul, right? He only wants to protect The Children^tm.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

Seriously, did I just stumble through a temporal rift? I thought this was 2009, not 1959. Mr. Bardwell, I believe it’s time to retire. You can spend your golden years going to Klan meetings and pining for the good old days of racial purity.

Time Warp

In many ways it seems like yesterday, but at others it seems like a lifetime ago. On September 24, 2008 my close friend Cindy Wall died suddenly. I remember the shock and pain I felt as I learned of her death. The pain feels like it happened a few minutes ago. But on the other hand, I feel like I have not seen or talked to her in years. Time has little meaning.

When my Daddy died a few years ago, I didn't think I would ever get over it. Hospice sent me a pamphlet on the one year anniversary of his death. I pulled it out yesterday. It helped me when he died and it helps me now.

Even though grief does not end with the first anniversary, hopefully you can say that you have learned many lessons this past year.

PERHAPS you have learned to receive and accept the love and support of those around you.

PERHAPS you have learned that your tears and memories are healing.

PERHAPS you have learned that although your life is changed, there is still a joy in living.

PERHAPS you have learned that the memories which hurt so much can become a healing bridge from the past to the future.

PERHAPS you have learned that the pain of loss is diminishing and the purpose and meaning in your life is growing stronger.

PERHAPS you have learned to treasure each day and to show love to others.

PERHAPS you have learned to never, never take for granted the gift of life.

The first anniversary is an important milestone. Look backward at your progress -- Look at today and congratulate yourself for the major achievement of coming this far -- Look ahead to the opportunities that are yet to come.

Thank you Daddy and Cindy for teaching me these lessons. Thank you Hospice for helping me realize what I've learned.

God's Peace+

The Lake Cabin Post

K.. . . . Very first, I HAVE to give a great big SHOUT OUT to

John Coley @ Coley Real Estate

John hung in there with us all summer. . .even gave us advice on FSBO's that we found. He is such a laid back, fun kind of guy who knows Lake Martin like the back of his hand because he grew up there. He is only satisfied when everyone involved in the transaction is satisfied. Y'all know me well enough to know. . .I don't endorse folks unless I mean it. . .an I MEAN IT.

Speaking of "For Sale By Owner" (FSBO) property on Lake Martin. . . Our Three Friends - AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! who said to us this week. . .

"You should have told us!! We are trying to sell our place!!!" . .. . I have two words for you!:

JOHN COLEY!

HELLO!!. . . who, please tell me, who! has the time to ride around all the miles of Lake Martin to find FSBO property. . . NOT US. . . .and I'll not even mention that we know you pretty well. . have seen you several times this summer. . . ..AND didn't KNOW about your property. . . .well, DUH!!

And a very close second . . . I have to mention Melanie Poe our mortgage officer at Aliant Bank . She spent a lot of time with us all summer and was friendly, professional and knew her stuff when it came to lake martin property.

I hope we can stay in touch with these two folks - fun and professional people.

NOW. . .for the SUMMER OF 2009 SAGA. . . .

We've looked at lots of property. . . .put in three failed offers. . . only to spend 30 days negotiating this final one. I know Lake Martin Property pretty well myself these days. . .I know all the "neighborhoods" and am very excited to learn more.

My original outline for this blog was to give it to you play by play all summer. . . .then decided that I'd rather NOT live through it again. . .and that you don't really want to live through it again either.

We ended up with an amazing piece of property. . . we've gone there almost EVERY DAY since we closed . . . it needs lots of TLC and a few major repairs - it's been closed up for two years and only visited a few times in five.

Tom's been there Fri., Sat., Sun. and tomorrow . . . .I'M LOVIN' this. . . he needs time OFF THE GRID. . . Mr. Work 70 hours minimum per week Guy. . . .Or should I say Dr. Work Guy! I love to see him excited about all his new projects and thinking of ideas for us as a family.

Here are a few photographs. . . .as soon as we have it up to speed, I'll post more photos and . . .we'll have all of you over!

Mallard Point, Jackson's Gap, Alabama. . . .Lake Martin Cabin.

Back to the '80s

We can't wait to spend more time relaxing there.

The Last Supper

By request, the last dinner at home together for Summer 2009 was - Individual Chicken Pot Pies~

Dinner at the Denneys

This week I posted a poll on Facebook: How often do you cook and do you plan ahead?

It got a lot of hits and a large variety of responses. I haven't conscientiously thought about this in a long while, but it's worth a studied re-visit.

When Tom and I married - 21 years ago - I did not cook ANYTHING. I had a few easy things up my sleeve, but not much. My mother-in-law however was the domestic queen complete with a home economics degree from Auburn. (She jokingly called it her M.R.S. degree) Most of Tom's life he sat down to a meat, two vegetables, salad, bread and a dessert = usually all from scratch. She was not only a natural, but also very precise about how she prepared the food and the atmosphere.

Not only did she love the art of preparing a good meal, but she also savored the ritual of a family meal. She shared with us why she felt this way when Trey was born. She told us that it creates "family." She felt that family was a way of life, not a group of people.

Seems like we've always sat down to dinner for most of our 21 years. I'm not saying we do it every single night - it's just not possible. We all four have very busy schedules. But when we don't - we ALL miss it. Especially our little renegade - He thrives at the dinner table. Everyone gets their moment to shine and we genuinely enjoy each others company. After all, everyone except me does not know any differently. It's just the way it is.

Like Mrs. Denney told us - you learn so much about your children by sitting down and eating with them. Since Tom and I are faced with raising Tom and Jeff Clones! - it's a wonderful thing.

We love you Grandmama - and miss you every day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll have to make cooking, planning ahead and getting everyone to the table into another blog. It should be fun - especially since I have so many friends with lots of tips to share~ Cheri in Washington State shares my love of power cooking. Harrow, my baby sistah down the street, is a master of bulk purchases. AND. . .I've discovered a new menu item that I can make SIX meals out of for $4! That's 67 cents per meal or 16 cents per plate! and EVERYBODY loves it. STAY TUNED.

Blueberry Pie

I've made several of these this year to take to the lake. The recipe is worth sharing. People rave and can't figure out what that special touch is - I think its the combo of ingredients and not just one.

BLUEBERRY PIE

Basic Pie Crust for 9-inch two-crust Pie/Pillsbury does fine if out of time

4 cups fresh blueberries

3 Tablespoons all purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom

Juice and zest of one lemon

1 tablespoon good quality dark rum

1 tablespoon butter

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Line the pie pan with half the pastry dough. Mix the flour, sugar, salt, and spices in large bowl. Add blueberries, lemon juice, zest and rum and gently toss well. Pile the mixture into the lined pie pan and dot with butter. Roll out the top crust and drape it over the pie. Crimp or flute the edges and cut several vents in the top. Bake for 10 minutes, then lower the temp to 350 degrees and bake for 30-40 mins or until top is browned.

My tips~

I love using my Pampered Chef Deep Dish Pie Plate to bake this pie but I use a regular sized 9 inch pie crust. As you can tell from the photographs, it fits nicely and deep into the dish, the stoneware keeps the bottom crust crisp, and it helps with boil overs.

I use my small star cutter to make a festive Americana pie for the month of July. Otherwise, regular vents are beautiful, too.

This is a sweet pie. I cut 1/4 cup sugar and it's still sweet. If you like a more tart pie - you may want to cut back on the sugar. I haven't done that yet.

I have eliminated the butter - BAD IDEA. It is essential to bind the flour and blueberry juices for thickness. It was a runny mess.

Plug Your Ears

Is it OK to brag about your children? I do not want to become one of those mothers who can't shut up about her "perfect, brilliant, talented, wonderful, handsome children." That kind of stuff wears very thin very fast! and eventually no one will listen or ask me about them.

I think bragging about your children is OK when you preface it with something funny or lite like, "plug your ears if you don't want to hear me brag about the boys," or "indulge me please."

I don't think it is bragging when you tell your close friends and family. Writing a blog about your children is a normal thing, especially you're a parent of teens and they are the only thing that seems to be happening in you life!! However, bragging on a blog should be rare~

Plug your ears and indulge me, please!

You've all read many blogs about my feisty, energetic, and adventurous youngest son - Foster. He always has something going on and it is not usually something to write about~

I am proud to tell you that Foster was the GATORADE PLAYER OF THE WEEK! at the Mike Getman Soccer Camp at the University of Alabama Birmingham for his group. He received the award for his hard work and attitude.


I'm so proud of you Foster! Hard work and a good attitude will get you many things in life.

And I think you could balance that ball on your foot FOREVER if anyone would sit and watch that long. . . .a few minutes was more than I could take. . . .bunches of love, Mom.

Melissa's Mediterranean Pasta

My husband loves this recipe and requests it all the time. I made it up one night using odds and ends in the kitchen about ten years ago.
5 Tbs. of your best Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 Tbs. Salted Butter
½ Medium White Onion – evenly chopped
3 cloves Garlic – evenly and finely chopped
1 lb. Dried Penne Pasta
Salt
Salt and Pepper to taste
3 oz. Extra Moist Sun Dried Tomatoes – Julienne Cut
1 cup halved Spanish Olives stuffed with Pimento
3 oz. Pine Nuts
2 – 14oz cans quartered Artichoke Hearts - drained
1 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
Large handful of fresh basil leaves - chopped
½ cup Shredded Asiago Cheese

The sun dried tomatoes should be the moist and chewy kind that do not require re-hydrating.

In a heavy large skillet bring olive oil and butter to a medium high temperature just before smoking. Add chopped white onion and reduce heat to medium. Cook until lightly caramelized – about 20 mins., stirring and tossing so that they cook evenly. Remove from heat. Let cool 5 mins. – add chopped garlic and stir. Set aside.

I like to use white onions because they have lower water content than yellow and maintain better flavor than red when sauteed. If you overcook the onion it becomes bitter. The garlic should be just slightly heated.


Heat another heavy dry skillet until hot, add Pine Nuts to toast. Toss continuously until slightly golden. Do not leave them, they will burn. Remove from skillet just before they are golden - they brown very fast. Put them on a plate to cool.


Bring large pot of water to a boil, add salt, then add Penne and cook 6 – 8 mins. or until as Al-Dente as you like it.

Strain pasta and add to a very large mixing bowl. Pour caramelized onion and garlic with oil over the hot pasta. Salt and Pepper to taste. Stir to coat pasta.

Add sun dried tomatoes, olives, ½ of the pine nuts, artichoke hearts, Parmesan cheese, and ½ the fresh basil leaves. Stir lightly to mix well.

Transfer to serving bowl, add remaining chopped basil, asiago cheese, and pine nuts on top. Garnish with fresh basil top.
We ate this alfresco last night with bakery whole grain bread, very casually. Tom drank a hearty red Zinfandel, I had my usual Denney house Pinot Gris, and Trey had pomegranate juice. We listened to John Prine. Life doesn't get much better.

Enjoy.

AND . . . . .she cooks again!

The Dinner Party~












A friend visited from St. Paul, MN recently. We had a dinner party at our house to welcome him back to Auburn - he and his family lived down the street from us for years and we are best of friends. We had a "Family - Trio" . . .three families that worked, studied, played, worshiped and lived in the neighborhood together. We miss that third leg of the stool a lot. We welcomed him with wide open arms and much love.

I was lucky enough to host the party - and made most of the food myself, from scratch.

My Internet friend from Seattle (I've met his wife and many friends - and I feel like I've met him as well) asked a few months back that all of his friends who cook to post their "from scratch" recipes with pictures. I'm posting the recipes from this party, For Darren~

When I make something from scratch, I have a routine: I Google the dish and I read lots of recipes from foodnetwork.com, cooks.com, allrecipes.com, recipesource.com, epicurous.com, cooking.com and any other source that comes up in Google. Then I take the highest rated recipes and blend them to take the best elements from each and "create" my own "from scratch" recipe. If it turns out well, I make a recipe card and keep it~ This night - everything was a keeper!

We started the night with a White Wine Sangria, Salsa, Chips and Corona with Limes.















White Wine Sangria
1 Navel Oranges
1 Lime
3 Cups Orange Juice
1/4 cup Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice
1 Bottle White Wine (as sweet or dry as you like it - but don't skimp)
1 16 oz bottle of Sprite

Slice the Orange in healthy 3/4 in. slices, then quarter the slices, reserve ends
Slice the Lime in 1/2 in. slices, then quarter the slices.
Place all slices in pitcher and squeeze juice from end pieces over slices.
Add remaining ingredients except Sprite and refrigerate.
When ready to serve, add Sprite.

Replace wine with Orange Juice and Sprite to your liking - to serve non-alcoholic version. I tied kitchen twine on the pitcher that had wine in it.

Salsa
1/2 cup each, finely chopped:
White Onion
Red Bell Pepper
Green Bell Pepper
Yellow Bell Pepper
Plum Tomatoes, and
1 Small Jalapeno

15 oz can Yellow Corn -drained
15 oz can Black Beans - drained and rinsed
3 Tbs. Taco Sauce

Mix well and refrigerate.
Add chopped fresh cilantro just before serving.

I slightly heated the chips in a pre-heated 350 degree oven to give them a "homemade" feel and taste.

Mexican Lasagna
serves 12

THE SAUCE:
1 1/2 pound of ground chuck
1/4 pound of Chorizo (Mexican Sausage) made into 1/8 inch balls
28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
28 oz can of tomato sauce
6 oz can of tomato paste
1/2 cup of water
2 packages of McCormick Taco seasoning
1 Tbs. ground cumin

THE CHEESE MIXTURE:
8 oz. pkg. Ricotta Cheese
12 oz. pkg. Sour Cream
1/2 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
1 Egg
2 Tbs. chopped Cilantro
Fresh Ground Pepper

Slices of Mozzarella Cheese
Grated Asiago Cheese
More chopped Cilantro

10 - 12 Burrito size Flour Tortillas cut into 1 inch strips

Brown the ground chuck in a large cast iron pot. Cook the Chorizo meat balls in a separate skillet until done - approximately 8 mins. Add all remaining meat sauce ingredients and meat balls to ground chuck in cast iron pot. Simmer for 20 mins. Cool.

In separate bowl, mix all cheese mixture ingredients well.

Spray large 9 X 13 or larger baking dish with non-stick spray

Layer as follows:

1/8 meat sauce
Flour Tortilla strips to cover
1/2 cheese sauce
Mozzarella Slices to cover
1/2 remaining meat sauce
Flour Tortillas strips to cover
remaining cheese sauce
Mozzarella slices to cover
Remaining meat sauce

Cover with foil and refrigerate two hours, but no more than 24 hours.

Bring to room temp.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 mins, remove foil and continue baking for 15 mins. Remove from oven and sprinkle with grated Asiago cheese. Let set for 15 mins. Garnish with chopped cilantro.

Salad was simple - pre-packaged spring mix, sliced red onion, Mandarin oranges, roasted pecans and almonds and prepared corn bread croutons - choice of Italian, ranch, or balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

I did not take any pictures of the main course, salad, having dinner or the after laughs -- now I wish I had. I always get the feeling that it's staged when we take pictures and the evening loses its intimacy. The longer I blog and am on facebook - the more this changes. I like having the pictures and I like living in the moment. I can do both.

Tiramisu in Martini Glasses
serves eight

2 pkgs. petite lady fingers
(I found these at Kroger. They are not as crisp as most, but rather had a cake texture to them.)
1 cup International Coffee - Dark Mayan Chocolate - made extra strong and cooled
1 pkg. instant chocolate pudding prepared by package directions
1 eight oz. package mascarpone cheese at room temp.
8 oz. heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract4 Heath chocolate bars, crushed

Slightly moisten lady fingers with coffee and line sides of eight large martini glasses with them.
Mix chocolate pudding into room temp mascarpone cheese until well blended and spoon into glasses completely covering lady fingers.
Can be prepared to this point and refrigerated overnight.
Whip cream, powdered sugar and vanilla together until stiff and top each glass.
Top with crushed heath bars.

This recipe and photograph remind me of Sandra Lee. . . .I should have mentioned that at dinner. . . for a laugh.



It was a great night~ We all smiled and laughed. WE MISS YOU, TIM! and your family. Auburn just isn't the same without you.

Lent Redux

RENEWAL OF OUR COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER

If you've been reading my boring musings for a year, you know that I posted a blog about Lent last year.

Lent is my favorite liturgical season. Last year literally changed my life. I know that sounds mellow-dramatic and over stated, but it is the truth. I have a relationship with my mother that I did not have before Lent last year.

So now, what to do this year~ Like I said before, I prefer to take something on, rather than give something up.

In this season of self-examination and prayer, I want to focus my thoughts and prayers on how I may be a source of healing grace for the people in my life.

I plan to accomplish this by focused and intense centering prayer every evening including the lighting of candles. I want to work to create an atmosphere of peace around those I love and around those that I don't love so much~

I have given a lot of thought to tolerance since the presidential election in the USA. I've decided that I HATE the words tolerate and tolerance. I can tolerate a barking dog. I want to pay more attention to respecting and listening to people who are different from me without insisting that they become like me in order to be acceptable and respectable to me.

I repeat the line "respect the dignity of every human being" every time I attend Eucharist, just like all of my fellow Episcopal parishioners. It is part of my Baptismal Covenant. I believe what I am saying when it comes to sexual orientations and gender identities, those of all races and cultures, and those of all classes and abilities.

I fall short in respecting people with traditional Protestant and conservative political beliefs. They are the enemy to my beliefs. I'll never believe like they do, but I want to accept, respect, listen and befriend them just as they are. I have hope that they will do the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A note from last year:

I got a couple of private notes about my post last year regarding the quote about women at the end. I said then and I'll say now - the word women, woman can be replaced with men or man without changing the meaning. I used the word woman because I am a woman.

Fire and Rain

Our second son has the ability to make us laugh, cry, scream and he scares the living daylights out of us.

On Valentine's Day, he, Tom and Pop decided at the last minute to drive to Mobile to meet me and watch the final game of the Southern Shootout Soccer Tournament. Tom allowed Foster to bring a guest - his friend with whom he has gotten in deep trouble on more than one occasion.

It was pouring rain in Mobile and Foster and his friend were bored. They were banging the metal bleachers, walking in front of all the spectators and generally being a nuisance. They found a playground and asked me if they might go over there and play. PLEASE DO, I told them.

Foster comes back looking like this:


After cleaning blood, applying ice and with a lot of quizzing, we learn that he was jumping from the "bar" to the "wall" and the rain made him fall. His head "went sliding on the concrete and smashed the wall with a wicked crash." "Am I gonna have a Black Eye? Cool." "Mom - it was the RAIN, it wasn't ME."

If that's not enough excitement for one day - we get MORE. Around mid-night we get home from the Mobile tournament. We methodically go from car, to bathroom, to bed like overly tired zombies. On a normal night when we have sleepover company I sleep on the very uncomfortable day bed in the sun room so that I can monitor the goings on of mischievous twelve year olds. On this night I assume everyone is going to bed, dead tired after all the excitement and four hours of driving.

Yeah Right! Around 8:30 a.m. or so we are awakened by banging on our door and Trey screaming -- THE TREE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.

I look out the sliding glass door in our bedroom into the back yard and see 25-30 foot flames shooting straight up the tree and the tree house is totally engulfed in flames.

Every single nerve in my body seizes . . . . "WHERE'S FOSTER AND J___?" I screamed that gut terror scream with tears flowing and my body shaking uncontrollably. I flashed back to 1970 when I watched my home go up in flames with my brother inside. The smell, the crackling sound and heat were all the same. I fell apart.

Pop grabs me and says - THEY ARE IN THE BED ASLEEP, Missy. Everything is going to be OK.

They were in the bed asleep - then WHO? It had to be deliberate because nothing else was on fire.

I call 911 and they tell me to stay on the line because I am the homeowner and I can see the fire, even though they have already gotten many calls. I tell the dispatcher - "It HAD to be set, WHO the hell would do such a thing?" Tom, who is on the other line, walks into the room and quietly whispers to me - please don't say anything else. My next thought is "Oh Shit, you've GOT to be kidding me."

Two fire trucks show up, three police, the fire chief and the police chief. When I see Foster he is crying and saying, "we didn't mean to set it on fire - we were just lighting leaves and stuff. "

They failed to completely extinguish the leaves and other "stuff" that they snuck out at 3 a.m. to light with a candle lighter INSIDE the tree house. The stuff smoldered for five hours until it turned into a tree house inferno.

Foster is on total and complete lock down restrictions until further notice. We took away his cell phone, computer, television, "thug" clothing and he has a long long way to earn our trust again.

Almighty God, heavenly Father, you have blessed us with the joy and care of children: Give us calm strength and patient wisdom as we bring them up, that we may teach them to love whatever is just and true and good, following the example of our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
BCP p.829, For the Care of Children

My Rock. My Cheerleader. My Friend.
Lewis Mack Foster
November 1, 1934 - February 10, 2007
I'll love you and miss you forever.

A Long Overdue Pot of Miscellany Stew

My friend Pam asked for a "Miscellany Stew" update. I like this fast paced update - it helps me not to get bogged down in details - which reminds me - to the person that asked, "Can you tell any story without going back to when God created Adam and Eve?" - the answer is YES! and here goes~

The extended family front: Mother is doing well as far as recuperating from lung cancer, but fell again and hurt her arm pretty badly. It required a visit to the emergency room - but she is better. Pop is having a few issues, but the biggest headache is how to keep all his girlfriends separated on Valentine's Day. My niece and her new husband bought a new house and their baby is due in April. My nephew got engaged to his long time girlfriend and we're very excited about that. My big brother's business is in the toilet and my little brother is hanging on to his job for dear life - all due to the economy. Tom's brother's family is well - getting ready for Tom's nephew to graduate from high school, and keeping up with his niece's softball schedule.

The boy front: Foster has been sick for almost a week. He had an abscess in a baby molar that we thought was the culprit, but turns out not to be the case. It's a "flu-like" virus. When something slows him down - we ALL pay attention. Trey made the varsity soccer team and is going through the trials of being the new young kid on the block - and the heartbreak of his best buddies being on the other team. He's having to make some tough choices, too. He plays the bass guitar for all the Auburn City School's choirs - (4 I think - not sure) and it is beginning to conflict with his soccer and other activities. He takes all of this overly seriously, and he/we are working through it. He gets his driver's license in 85 days. Both boys' grades are still good.

The Tom front: Tom is still taking golf lessons and practicing a lot. In all of our married life - 20 years - when he has stressful times - he takes up a hobby/skill to help him through. I should learn from that, huh? He has been working what amounts to two jobs since mid-summer or so. It's nice to finally see some of the fruit of his labor. Auburn University, UAB, Siemens Corp. and the State of Alabama are going to announce in the next few weeks that they have established the Siemens/MRI Research Center. That is if I haven't jinx it by announcing it here. Most everyone on campus knows about it, but there is still a lot of work to do before the official announcement is made. It's an amazingly big deal for him - I'm so proud of him I could burst. He deserves this. I can't get used to seeing him in a tie, though, and am over wrought with jealously because he'll have a parking place.

The Melissa front: If you don't know that I finished my Master of Public Administration degree in December, you must live under a rock. I've been shouting it from every roof top. It feels good to finish - it took 6 years. The job that I applied for didn't work out - it was excruciating to go through that interview process and come in second - I'd rather be last. I like the man who got the job, but it's still hard. That means I'm still doing the development work for Rural Studio. Of course I love the Rural Studio, the CADC, the School of Architecture, my colleagues are a hoot, but I'm tired of fighting the same battles for 7 years.

I am machine quilting most everyday. I love that I'm back into it. I plan a real life F2F every week with a person/friend I've neglected during my school. I read some fiction everyday - I feel like Stephanie Plum is a BFF - fun fun mind candy. I've been exercising to video tapes, which is hilarious - I love to laugh at myself. I'm biking some when the weather cooperates - thank you Cindy. I'm planning a 5K in April - thank you Tara. I've lost about 1/2 of the stress weight that I gained the last two years - my strategy is to eat less, move more and not obsess over it. My only "diet requirement" is to weigh myself on Monday mornings - THAT'S IT! I don't have a solid goal, I don't write anything down, I don't weigh any food- just eat less and move more. It feels good not to carry that obsession around with me anymore.


Other Miscellany: My BFF Kim Scarborough's son Will is in Boston at Children's Hospital having brain surgery on Monday. I'm in very close contact with her. She has handled the stress of this and of losing our other BFF in stride. When we lost Cindy, she and I have become so close. I can not wait for this ordeal to be over for her and for Will. I was a mentor for Ben Strickland for his confirmation into the Episcopal Church recently. I learned a lot about the Church, about Ben and about myself. It was a humbling experience. I've enjoyed getting back involved at church, too. I'm not missing school, yet.

OK, so maybe I DID go back to when God created Adam and Eve, but it's been a while~

I hope catch up with my Internet friends more often.

PEACE OUT.

“Respect the Dignity of Every Human Being”

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire
Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God’s blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters’ childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN.

From: Episcopal Cafe

Service

"Everybody's got to pitch in."
Barack Obama, calling for National Day of Service
to honor Martin Luther King Jr.
On January 19, 2009

Public Service means different things to different people. For some, it is employment for the greater good - a government job. To others, it means giving back in the form of work or money to the government or non-profit agencies that have given so much to them. And yet to some it means helping others when no one else is looking and doing so even if they are not likely to return the favor. Sound familiar?

Auburn University's College of Architecture, Design and Construction has included community service in its curriculum for many years. When most people think about this service-based learning model, Samuel Mockbee's Rural Studio comes to mind. While the Rural Studio is an amazing example, there are many others.

• The Interiors Master's program has helped design the Salvation Army headquarters in Auburn and a quilt studio in Waverly.
• The exterior design of these two projects was designed by the Design/Build Master's program.
• The Urban Studio in Birmingham has designed Master Plans for communities all over Alabama.
• Design Habitat is a studio at Auburn that won a national award for a Habitat for Humanity home design for rural areas where the volunteer base is small.

These are a tip of the iceberg.

The ethic of service taught at Auburn's CADC was never more evident than Thursday, June 15, 2009 when the college held an alumni reception at the old Farmer's Market area of Chattanooga, Tennessee in the community design studio known as Onion Bottom. The studio, run by Andy Smith '72, is a place where students at UT Chattanooga and practicing architects can gather and help design community facilities such as the police station for the city. The most amazing thing about the design center? It doubles as a homeless shelter at night. The homeless were invited in to take part in the reception after our program was over. It was 10 degrees that night.

CADC has 100 graduates practicing in the Architecture, Construction and Industrial Design areas in Chattanooga - 50 of them came to the event. The Chattanooga AIA gave a check that fully funds their Rural Studio Endowment started five years ago and they are seeking advice on what to do next.

Service, it is in CADC Alumni DNA.

At Onion Bottom, Chattanooga TN, January 15, 2009 from L-R
Thomas Palmer '98
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Dean Daniel Bennett '68
College of Architecture, Design and Construction
Josh Cooper '97
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Melissa Foster Denney '08
Rural Studio Development
Andy Smith '72
founder of Onion Bottom Community Design Studio
Heather Leigh Adcox '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
Brad Shelton '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer
and in front - Craig Peavy '01
Rural Studio Grad. and practicing architect volunteer

Best Friend's Friends

Hello, My name is Shooter Wall. I am a 12 year old Labrador Retriever. I have a 10 year old brother, Tracker, a lab and Chesapeake Bay retriever "combo." Recently our world was turned upside down when our mom, Cindy Wall, left for work one morning, and we have not seen her since. There was a lot of activity at our house for a while, with many people coming and going. They were very upset.

We heard someone say that Mom had died suddenly (we are not sure just what that means.) Our veternarian, Dr. Mary Smith, came and took us to her office and we have been staying here ever since. We are very well cared for here, but it is not the same as being at home. (Who wants to live at a hospital?) Our friend Belle's mom is trying to find a family who are willing to adopt us and give us a new home....or even two families, each taking one of us.

We have been described as sweet, loving and well mannered. Dr. Smith does not know of any serious health issues. Tracker has some arthritis, so he likes to sleep on a cushioned bed; he takes medicine for his arthritis and thyroid.

At 70 pounds I have allergies that I take antihistamines to help; I also do not like thunderstorms, but have gotten more used to them... don't hear as well as I used to! (Just like my mom's friend Melissa! - the allergies, thunderstorms & hearing that is - she only wishes she looked like me!)

We miss Mom Cindy so much!! We want a family to love and share our time with. Please, if you know of someone who would like to adopt us, have them call Dr. Mary's office at 821-7810 and she will tell you about us. Thank you for any help you can give us.

---Linda Bayse, Shooter's Secretary

P.S. Cindy died in September and her dogs are boarded at the vet since then. Unless we can find a place for them, they will be put down on Wednesday, Jan.14th. Her brother can't keep paying the fee to board them ...... they have to go. Please, think hard. Cindy had such an impact on our community in so many ways, and I am certain that if we can just make more people aware of this situation, a home (or 2 homes) can be found. Perhaps someone can provide a foster home until an adoption can be arranged. Do you know of a foster home?

They do not have to go together; they can be fostered separately. These are such sweet, old dogs; we know that Cindy's wishes were that her dogs not be killed. Linda can be reached at 334-728-1500.

Thank you sweet Linda for taking this on. I'll help all I can to spread the word.

With my love,

Melissa

Makin' a List

I live by lists. I have a list-style notepad that stays on the kitchen counter for me to jot down things that I need to do or remember.

Today as I scratched through the last item and tore off the page, I was surprised with this little ditty written by my eleven year old niece while she was here for Christmas vacation~


I'm saving this one.

The Obligatory January 1 Post~

2008 was a mixed bag for me - it ended on a high note, but had one of the lowest notes of my life. My dear BFF died in September. She was my anchor and I'm learning to live without her guiding voice each day. One of our closest couple friends divorced. That rocked our world and totally blind-sided us.

I completed a long-time goal of getting a graduate degree. It's not for myself that I'm most proud, but for the example that it set for my children. I hope they take from this experience that we went through together that education is valuable, perseverance pays off, high goals are attainable with hard work, and it feels good to sacrifice for someone else's benefit. My oldest told me with a wink and smile - that what he learned was to get your graduate degree or degrees as early as possible because it's a lot harder when you're old. That's a good lesson, I think?!

One of my other dearest friend's son was diagnosed with a scary life-threatening disease. He is also a dear friend of my youngest. They'll need and get lots of support from us this year.

My mother blew through lung cancer like a hurricane. She came out the other side healthier and happier. She busted a 60-year smoking habit and hasn't coughed in months. I'm SO proud of her.

Tom's nephew made a perfect 36 on the ACT and is waiting for early decision at MIT. We're proud of him and all of his accomplishments - it seems unreal that he is a senior.

My nephew announced his engagement to his long-time girlfriend. We're so happy for them and can't wait to start the festivities.

My niece got married this year and is expecting her third child.

Both our boys made it through the first half of this school year with all "A" averages. At the little one's counseling session, I learned that he has perfect "A" end-of-year averages since he's received grades. I didn't realize they did yearly averages - I knew he'd never made a "C" but that was beautiful to see, but not as fun as seeing his face light up! Dang, I can't believe we set up his Junior High schedule. Time is passing by.

The passing of time brings me to 2009.

Any one who knows me knows that I am a goal-oriented person. I have to have concrete and specific goals and objectives. I rarely set resolutions on Jan. 1, but turns out that this is a good time for me to do just that.

I always look at my family and see how the three of them are fairing before I set any goals for myself. They need better nutritional habits. I hope to make more fruits and vegetables available. Santa already put vitamin supplements in their stockings. They are all three very active and in excellent shape. The youngest could use some extra emotional support while navigating the perils of seventh grade. I'll make sure he stays high on my radar this year. The oldest is putting too much pressure on himself and I'm having what I call "shorts" with him a lot lately. "Shorts" are quick but meaningful discussions. I've found that if I talk too much, it's less effective.

Tom's research and advancement is in full bloom and he's glowing in it. I'm proud of him and always look to him for encouragement and a good example for time management and work ethic. We're working together to find more time for each other and using it to keep the fires burning.

When I decided in 2001 to get a graduate degree, I stopped several other activities. I quit quilt guild, my vestry term ended, I stopped volunteering for PTA, I missed several study club meetings (they wouldn't hear of my resignation), and I stopped going to ECW. I hope to re-connect with some of these people with the goal of renewing their friendships. I miss them.

The goal that I'm most excited about is quilting. I hope to complete at least a quilt a month, maybe more. I've been making some connections with my quilting buddies and feel their compassion and enthusiasm seeping in already. I'm re-joining the guild in January, and have already joined the evening birthday group. I smile thinking about it.

~A goal here was deleted. I decided not to make it public afterall.~

Meditation and calming thoughts are skills that I hope to better develop this year. I know that I feel better when I practice centering prayer and calming techniques.

I want to join the beginners biking group. My objective is to work toward a goal of a more healthy lifestyle and I know that means being involved and connected to people with the same goal.

I want to continue with my online self-help course "Shrink Yourself." It's helped me recognize and work through my emotional eating habits. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels they have that issue.

I want to continue to focus on my weight as a source of unhealthiness, however I'm going to rethink how to do that. Right now I plan to use resources and challenges available to me to help set short-term goals. I'm changing my focus from weight loss to lifestyle change. Most importantly, I'm going to seek out supportive people who have healthy lifestyles to hang with.

Other things that I'd like to do, but am not setting as concrete goals - start or join a book group, start or join a meditation/prayer group, plan a regular girl's night out, plant more perennials, take a photography class, learn to swing dance, join the scooter club

AND spend more time condensing and rewriting my blogs so that they don't go on so~

Happy 2009! It's a good year.